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                                                WWE Smackdown, 12/30/11 by Zak Fellows 

Wade Barrett : Murderer Or Saviour?

Did you know that the flawless one doesn't partake in silly drinking practises with most of the losers on New Year's Eve? Welcome to the final Smackdown of the year 2011, coming to your homes from Indianapolis, Indiana. Tonight's main event will be my boy W. Barrett vs Randy Orton in a Fall's Count Anywhere match. And here comes Booker T. He asked for the time to thank WWE and the fans for the awesome year. Yeah...me no think so. Booker's awesome year started with his 'surprise' entry into the Royal Rumble match, then it continued with stepping into the commentary booth...well, aside from dealing with you-know-who. Booker then goes to Cody Rhodes and says he beat Cody on RAW last Monday. Then Booker, showing his great intelligence, correctly points out that it is the final Smackdown of the year(Guess Sharmell gave the Book man a calendar for Christmas) and tells the fans to enjoy the show. However, Booker is interrupted by the Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes, who says that the audience may not keep up with current news, so Cody recaps his year. Um, no need Cody, I already did that for you. Do you want me to recap my recap? Yeah, so, Cody tells us pretty much what I've talked about this entire year and of course brings up his win over Booker T at TLC the PPV. Booker reminds Cody of his win over him on Raw. Cody says he will give his congratulations to Booker and he does in seemingly flawless(see what I did there?) sincerity. Cody offers his hand to Booker in respect but...swerve!...ok, Booker and Cody are shaking hands, but surely one of them will attack the other...ok, that didn't happen either. Cody then asks if this is all over - meaning Booker's nostalgia act(Yep, there you go) and that Booker will continue to be a terrible announcer. Surprise-a-roonie(Ha, just realised the great relation that has to Booker T)...hang on, Booker does not get a chance to respond! In fact, we are greeted by none other than Golddust! Ok, it's actually Dustin Rhodes not wearing the make-up. Dustin apologises to his little bro but tells Cody that Booker T inspired him to get back in the game over the years(Hmm I just remembered that Booker and Golddust were a Tag Team...and a good one at that). Cody then calls his brother a joke and says he does not care about being an inspiration. He says he has restored the Rhodes family name. Booker T then finally gets back on the mic. and offers to settle this little dispute for the Intercontinental Championship once and for all. Cody accepts the challenge for next week and Booker goes back to the announcer table. Cody Rhodes, being the good brother we all know he is, knocks down Dustin Rhodes to send a message to Booker T.

TED DIBIASE Vs. JINDER MAHAL :

The more I watch Jinder Mahal, the more I get visions of Muhammed Hassan, Sheik Abdul Bashir, hell, even Yusef Khan from Eastenders(Yeah, I watch Eastenders, even though it is depressing as hell). Ted gains the quick lead with a hiptoss, but this is short lived as Jinder Mahal hangs DiBiase on the ropes and knocks him down with a knee. Jinder hits Ted with an STO and locks in the Camel Clutch for the win. Does every Middle Eastern gimmick use the Camel Clutch?
Winner: Jinder Mahal By Submission, * Theodore Long is backstage on the phone talking about his New Year's Eve party. Aksana comes in, flirts and we move on. Oh wait, Drew McIntyre comes in, and before you readers can get your drink on, Long reveals that he has signed Drew back to Smackdown. Why? Drew's career on Raw was going so well. After some stuff that doesn't make any sense, we do move on.

ALICIA FOX & KAITLYN Vs. NATALYA & TAMINA :

And here's is a team made of one person I absolutely despise, and one person I have a schoolboy crush on. Remember how last year when Alicia Fox was pushed to Uranus and back(Wow, an ass joke. Trying to appeal to the low brows, are we Zak?) and it didn't make any sense? Well, this push makes about as much sense as...something that doesn't make sense. Alicia pins Natalya after a god awful scissors kick. After the match, Tamina hits the Superfly Splash on Natalya.

A 'Be A Star' promo. A cause I genuinely care about followed by a Raw Rebound(BSBDG Count:373). Man, I am completely done with CM Punk. I don't even know what you people see in him now. Go ahead, be angry, see if I care. This Raw Replay is followed by another Raw Replay(BSBDG Count:376), this time of the World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan(1 Week into his reign. Congratulations!) saving the Big Show from David Otunga(who the fuck needs to be saved by David Otunga?) and Mark Henry. Daniel Bryan is backstage with AJ, chatting her up, when Big Show comes in. We will just move on. What? Sue me.

JUSTIN GABRIEL Vs. HUNICO :

Am I the only one who thinks that HunicO's 'ride' is completely lame? It's a bicycle, folks. Oh, and in other news, his bodyguard is called CamachO. I think my theory over the naming of the Mexicans and Puerto Ricans are becoming more and more true. Justin is able to knock HunicO out of the ring but misses a baseball slide, allowing HunicO to hit Gabriel with a springboard moonsault to the outside. Gabriel goes to the top rope for the 450 Splash but HunicO is able to bring him down with a top rope hiptoss. HunicO then goes to the top rope himself and hits the Senton Bomb on Justin for the win. After the match, both HunicO and CamachO hit Gabriel with a double team Samoan Drop Neckbreaker. Winner: HunicO by Pinfall, **

THE BIG SHOW Vs. DAVID OTUNGA :

(BSBDG Count:377) for Otunga being on my show. Remember, David has Mark Henry in his corner. Big Show pretty much destroys Otunga throughout the entire match despite Otunga's futile efforts to fight back. After a distraction from Henry, Otunga is able to bring the Big Show to his knees and hit him with a DDT, which only gets a 2 count. Big Show knocks Otunga out with the WMD. Winner: The Big Show By Pinfall, **

EZEKIEL JACKSON Vs. DREW MCINTYRE :

I would say it's good to see Drew again but that would be lying. Drew attempts to win with a pin while his feet are on the ropes, but the ref catches him. While he is explaining himself to the referee, Ezekiel rolls Drew up and grabs the tights for extra measure, which does the job. Drew tries to explain this to the referee after the match as the commentators say that if Drew doesn't start winning, then Teddy Long will fire him. Winner: Ezekiel Jackson By Pinfall, *3/4 Drew McIntyre is backstage with Teddy Long trying to explain himself, but Long just tells him he hates losers that complain.

SHEAMUS Vs. HEATH SLATER :

Before this match, Sheamus comes out to cut a promo with the midget but is interrupted by Heath Slater, which leads to Sheamus throwing him over the top rope. Royal Rumble promo maybe. BOOOORRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG. Sheamus wins the match with a Brogue Kick. Winner: Sheamus By Pinfall, NO RATING. Teddy Long is backstage with Daniel Bryan & The Big Show. He announces that since CM Punk is defending the WWE Title against Dolph Ziggler on Raw next Monday, Daniel Bryan will defend his World Heavyweight Title against The Big Show next week on Smackdown. Daniel Bryan has no problem with it because he knows that his reign lasted longer than 45 seconds(Big Show's reign, for the benefit of those who don't know). Another 'End Begins' promo. Who cares?

Falls Count Anywhere: WADE BARRETT Vs. RANDY ORTON :

The brawl starts straight away in the ring but eventually goes to the outside with Orton throwing Barrett into the ring steps and then stamping Wade's head on the ring steps. Orton attempts the RKO on the outside early but Barrett is able counter by pushing Randy into the ring post. Barrett begins the Barrage but when he attempts his pumphandle slam, Orton escapes and begins his comeback. Orton throws Barrett into the crowd and accidentally knocks down the referee in the ensuing brawl. The brawl is taken backstage and then even in an elevator(through the magic of cameras that are mostly used to spy on women, we can see their continued brawl). Once they exit, Barrett is able to throw Orton down some stairs and then escapes through a door as Orton lies there. Oh My God...RANDY ORTON HAS BEEN MURDERED! The question is though...whodunnit? Winner: Wade Barrett...by attempted murder, ***1/2

This Smackdown was hyped as a one match show with Barrett Vs. Orton and that was pretty obvious. MOTN goes to the Falls Count Anywhere match. Have a Flawless New Year, folks. See you in 2012!

Brand Split Bullshit Drinking Game Count: 377





                                                WWE Smackdown, 12/23/11 by Zak Fellows 

The IWC Week: Catered To A Bunch Of Worthless, Flawed Twats. Especially You! Merry Christmas?

Did you know that I am a woman magnet and am therefore not allowed to enter any well populated women areas? And that my Christmas always turn out Flawless? Through the magic of Christmas and miracle of YouTube, I bring you my special Holiday-empowered edition of Smackdown! And a big hand to my fellow Wrestling Roundtable member Kori for this very good Christmas Card image :

                                                            

Tonight's show comes from Richmond, Virginia. The Big Show(who now has the shortest World Heavyweight Title reign in history) comes out first to cut a promo. He admits that he was sure he would come out as Champion tonight and cannot believe that Daniel Bryan(cue Asshole Commentator 'HYPOCRITE' rant. Yeah, and you're not) is champ. He will congratulate Daniel in a moment, but before that, says he has been trying to win the title for 9 years, finally got it on Sunday despite the superhuman Mark Henry, and like that, it was gone. Show then says he felt a lot of emotions and shows us his interview with Josh Matthews from last Monday(BSREG Count:348). He then says he is proud of himself for not losing it and Mark Henry interrupts. He asks Show what is there to be proud off and implies that his shortest World title reign will be put on his tombstone. Henry says Show is embarrassed & humiliated, then suggests taking a week off and leaving the business. Oh no, the business will not survive a week without The Big Show! Henry then says he wants his rematch with Daniel Bryan tonight, which brings out the new champion. Bryan says that nobody fully believes that he is champion. He says nothing about him says "World Heavyweight Champion" or "WWE Superstar"(Not that anybody would want to be one) but he is a very good wrestler(cue IWC, 'YEAH!') and despite that, he is the World Heavyweight Champion. Henry calls Bryan a pipsqueak and tells Bryan to give him his rematch. Show interrupts and reminds Mark about last Sunday but Henry jokes about the short reign again. Teddy Long comes out and announces that tonight will be a #1 Contenders match between Henry and Show. Long then congratulates Bryan, and Show does the same. Bryan offers his hand to Henry as well, but pulls it back as Mark goes for it.

Intercontinental Champion CODY RHODES Vs. United States Champion ZACK RYDER : 

(BSREG Count:349) and if you wanted proof that this is an IWC-focused show, then look at this match up. A head lock on Rhodes to start things off lead to Ryder quickly but awkwardly knocking down Rhodes with a shoulder block. Rhodes quickly gets a hold of Zack's arm to bring him down to the mat and begin his targeting. Zack hits two hip tosses, with the second one transitioning into an armlock. Cody throws Zack out of the ring but wastes too much time berating the crowd, allowing Ryder to quickly get back in the ring and start the pounding. The two make it to the outside and Cody pushes Zack into Booker T, allowing him to gain the advantage. Near the end of the match, as Cody is in control, Booker stands on the announcer table and decides to sing 'Cody The Red Nose Reindeer', which distracts Cody and allows my Brozak(That's gonna be our deal) to hit the Rough Ryder for the win. And the IWC wins again (BSREG Count:351). Winner: United States Champion Zack Ryder By Pinfall,**1/2 After the match Booker finishes the song. Teddy Long is backstage in his office and Santino Marella shows up with his cobra...sock puppet!...Perverts(BSREG Count:352). Santino offers his services as the new assistant GM of Smackdown and Aksana comes in. Moving On...Vickie...uh and Dolph Ziggler (BSREG Count:354) come in and say that Ryder got lucky last Sunday. Dolph then suggests that he face Daniel Bryan tonight and Long makes the match.

#1 Contender's Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: MARK HENRY Vs. THE BIG SHOW : 

Before the match starts, David Otunga comes out with his awesome music(BSREG Count:355). Otunga introduces himself with his position and says that Henry is not cleared to wrestle tonight as ordered by John Lauranitis, so the match will not take place. Big Show knocks down Otunga after he wishes the crowd a Merry Christmas. Teddy Long is backstage and meets up with none other than The Miz (BSREG Count:356), who doesn't even know what he is doing on Smackdown. Not even Long knows. Miz accuses Long of being a bad GM (cue Asshole Announcer Orgasm) and correctly points out that when he was WWE Champion, Smackdown did not main event any pay-per-views, while he mainevented five, including WrestleMania. Miz says he is going out to the ring to wait for an opponent. Miz then shows a replay of him taking out R =-Truth and John Morrison(He will not be missed, BSREG Count:359). After some more talking, his opponent comes out making the match...

SHEAMUS Vs. THE MIZ : 

Sheamus quickly backs Miz into the corner but Miz breaks the hold with a knee and briefly has the upperhand until Sheamus knocks him down. Sheamus chases Miz out of the ring, but this allows Miz to hang Sheamus's arm on the ropes, which he begins targeting. Miz attempts his clothesline in the corner but gets a clothesline from Sheamus, then an Irish Curse Backbreaker. Sheamus attempts a High Cross but Miz escapes and hits a big boot on the targeted arm. Miz then attempts the SCF(Skull Crushing Finale, for you new readers), but Sheamus knocks him away and hits a Brogue Kick for the win. Cue Asshole Announcer Rant. Winner: Sheamus By Pinfall, **

And this show gets better with my guy W. Barrett coming out. He proclaims that the Barrett Barrage has been on a great role despite some minor roadblocks. He then shows us how he has been besting Randy Orton, first by showing him beating Orton last month, then Team Barrett defeating Team Orton at Survivor Series, and finally, Barrett hitting the Wasteland on Orton through a table last Monday (BSREG Count:362). Barrett then says that his performance against who used to be one of the best in WWE history(Yeah Fucking Right) should put him in line for a title shot against Daniel Bryan(Book it! The Flawless One demands it!). This ends his promo as he wishes us a Happy Christmas. What a nice guy. Orton comes out and gets in a brawl with Barrett, throwing him back into the ring and attempting an RKO but Barrett pushes him away & runs off. Orton gives chase and the two continuing brawling backstage, eventually reaching the parking bay. Orton knocks Barrett to the floor, grabs a hose and sprays Barrett...with water...perverts (Working at the Wade Wash!). Orton continues the embarrassment by throwing Barrett across a table and then dumping rubbish on him. And just in case this couldn't get any longer, Orton throws Wade on the bonnet of a car and hits an RKO while on the car. Ok, this went on for way too long. It was excessive and it ain't setting an example for the kids.

WWE Tag Team Champion KOFI KINGSTON Vs. PRIMO : 

Apparently both EpicO and PrimO are now on the RAW Roster, so (BSREG Count:364). PrimO quickly beats Kofi down and hits a Russian Legsweep. Kofi goes up to the top rope but gets distracted by EpicO, allowing PrimO to throw Kingston off of the turnbuckle with a hip toss, which Kofi is able to kick out of. Kofi gets the win with the TIP (BSREG Count:366). Winner: WWE Tag Team Champion Kofi Kingston By Pinfall, *1/2 A replay of the IWC-Driven RAW airs, featuring the journeys of CM Punk, Zack Ryder and Daniel Bryan to their titles. Pretty good, but (BSREG Count:369)

World Heavyweight Champion DANIEL BRYAN Vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER : 

Bryan and Ziggler enter a stalemate struggle but Bryan makes the first move with a dropkick. In a great counter, as Ziggler jumps over Bryan, Daniel catches his leg and locks in the surfboard. Bryan tries to go for it again but Ziggler makes it to the ropes. Ziggler holds onto the ropes and Bryan crashes & burns after attempting a dropkick. Ziggler does some situps to mock Bryan but Daniel attempts to lock in the LeBell Lock and Ziggler escapes out of the ring. During the match, Jack Swagger (BSREG Count:370) comes down to the ring and, with the referee distracted, hits a shoulder tackle to Bryan on the outside. The Big Show then comes out to get Vickie and Swagger away from the ring as Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold, but Bryan rolls through and hits a Chaos Theory suplex from the corner, which Ziggler kicks out off(that move does actually impress the Asshole, but if you spend your entire career trying to impress him then you really are a waste). Ziggler fails at the Zig Zag and Bryan kicks his mothe...well you know, but Dolph still kicks out. Swagger tries to attack Show from behind but this does nothing but anger the giant, who chases Swagger into the ring and tries to chokeslam him, but Teddy Long runs out and changes the match into a tag team match. Shame, this match was going really well. I will rate both the singles and tag match together...

DOLPH ZIGGLER & JACK SWAGGER Vs. World Heavyweight Champion DANIEL BRYAN & THE BIG SHOW : 

I am afraid I missed 4 minutes of the match so I will pick up from the point it showed up. Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold on Bryan again, but Bryan manages to escape and throw Ziggler shoulder first into the ringpost at the same time. Bryan makes Swagger tap out to the LeBell Lock. ****

Wow, this was a very good show. The matches were good, the promos were good, the pacing was right(mostly), the stupidity was toned down(mostly), and had a lot of good energy about it. If all Daniel-Bryan-World-Title-reign Smackdowns are like this, then it's gonna be a good 3 weeks...I ain't trying to be cynical, I just naturally am. Only form of complaint is that the brawl between Wade Barrett and Randy Orton went too long. It seemed a bit to excessive with what Orton did to Barrett, and ranged from stupid to barbaric. Another form of celebration is that the Brand Split Reindeershit Eggnog Game has now gone over 1-drink-a-day in one year, and it hasn't even been a full year yet! MOTN goes to Ziggler Vs. Bryan, and by extension(even though it was mostly unnecessary), the tag match.

Brand Split Reindeershit Eggnog Game Count: 370

And now to wish you all a Very Happy Christmas, here is a special 12 Days of Christmas brought to you by Smackdown in the year 2011:

On the 1st day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
1 More Match for Christian

On the 2nd day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 3rd day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 4th day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 5th day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 6th day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
6 Title Changes
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 7th day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
7 Great Segments
6 Title Changes
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 8th day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
8 New Stars
7 Great Segments
6 Title Changes
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 9th day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
9 Orton Squashes
8 New Stars
7 Great Segments
6 Title Changes
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 10th day of Christmas Smackdown gave to me
10 Holla Hollas
9 Orton Squashes
8 New Stars
7 Great Segments
6 Title Changes
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 11th day of Christmas, Smackdown gave to me
11 Shit Matches
10 Holla Hollas
9 Orton Squashes
8 New Stars
7 Great Segments
6 Title Changes
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

On the 12th day of Christmas Smackdown gave to me
12 Months of Hell
11 Shit Matches
10 Holla Hollas
9 Orton Squashes
8 New Stars
7 Great Segments
6 Title Changes
5 BOOKER FAVES
450 Splash
3 Real Tag Teams
2 Sin Caras
and 1 More Match for Christian

FROM THE WRESTLING ROUNDTABLE AND THE FLAWLESS ONE, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!



                                               WWE Smackdown, 11/29/11 by Zak Fellows 

What The Hell Makes Those Kids Think They Deserve Presents This Year?

Did you know that everything is shit unless i am involve in it in someway? For the next month, the Brand Split Bullshit Drinking Game will be known as the Brand Split Reindeer Eggnog Game. Same rules, just instead of alcohol, you drink Eggnog. Welcome to a Live Tuesday Smackdown from Flair County, Charlotte, North Carolina, for this 'holiday' edition. It ain't even fucking December yet.

And from a heavily Christmas decorated stage comes our 'esteemed' host for the evening Mick Foley, dressed as Jolly Ol' Saint Mick(that isn't a joke; he is actually introduced as such). As the crowd gives a good "Foley!" chant, Foley welcomes us to the show, and despite it being November, he is a Christmas fanatic, having listened to constant Christmas music and visited Santa's Villiage several days a year. Foley then says what JR is to barbecue, what the Ultimate Warrior is to colourful arm tassles(and huge ego-filled drug addicts), he is to Christmas. He does his 'Right here' gag and then hypes the World Championship Steel Cage Match between 'Tiny Tim' Daniel Bryan and the 'Ghost of Christmas Fear' Mark Henry. Foley then announces a 'Miracle on 34th Street Fight' and a 'All I want for Christmas over the top rope battle royal', the winner getting a wish granted by Santa Claus(Maybe I should enter, win and get that nurse outfit for...a friend). Next, Foley mentions that 'No Ho Ho' Michael Cole is bound by contract to be here but Foley got to pick his outfit and brings him out. The Asshole comes out dressed as Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. As funny as this should of been, it would have been funnier and greater if he had not shown up at all. Josh Matthews, meanwhile, is dressed up as an elf while Booker T is no where to be seen. Foley proceeds to bring out Booker T dressed as 'Booker Claus' and Foley asks Booker 'for the Jewish viewers' to do a Spin-a-roonie. Booker is about to until he is interrupted by Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes. Rhodes says he sees things clearly and sees a 'lowly announcer' making a fool of him & wasting his time. Booker responds by saying he doesn't know what Cody's problem is but says that he can handle his problems in the ring. Booker calls Cody 'son', which gets Cody worked up and says that Booker will never hold the Intercontinental Championship over his head again. Foley interrupts Cody by calling Booker a legend and suggests that tonight Cody faces Booker in the ring, which they to.

Mistletoe on a Pole Match : BRIE BELLA Vs. NIKKI BELLA Vs. ALICIA FOX Vs. KAITLYN Vs. AJ Vs. NATALYA Vs. AKSANA Vs. TAMINA Vs. ROSA MENDES :

(BSREG:304) Foley says that the winner of the match will get a prize between now & the end of December, and we should know what it is. So it is either a Divas Title match or you get to have a sex with somebody...me, maybe? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time 8 Women(including 2 Twins) have beat each up over me. This was your typical Pole Match/Battle Royal affair. One of the Bellas win in under 2 minutes. Hell, it may have been under a minute.(BSREG:306). It was Brie Bella but Mick comes out again and says that the prize was not a title match but a kiss on any wrestler between now & Christmas. Winner: Brie Bella By...Grabbing the Mistletoe

JUSTIN GABRIEL Vs. JINDER MAHAL : 

Jinder gets on the mic. before the match and rips on Christmas. Jinder is in control for the opening of the match with a kitchen sink knee on Gabriel and a double underhook throw. In the middle of the match, Ted DiBiase's music plays and he comes out with a Christmas Bag bearing gifts for his 'DiBiase Posse'. This distracts and infuriates Jinder, so DiBiase throws him an action figure, which Jinder refuses. This distraction allows Justin to recover and hit a roundhouse kick on Mahal, then a 450 Splash for the win. Winner: Justin Gabriel By Pinfall, *1/2

Foley is backstage at a party with the Usos, teaching him their war dance. Foley also meets up with Roddy Piper, who gives Mick his wish list(which includes a new straight jacket) but Mick walks away in mid-list & meets up with Maxine and...uh, the midget. The midget gives a glass of eggnog to Maxine, who walks away. Dusty Rhodes then comes in and offers the midget a picture of Lady GaGa eating a cornbeef sandwich, but the midget walks away in disgust. Goldust (BSREG:307), dressed in a Christmas sweater, comes in, does his inhale/exhale and his father leaves. Piper suggests the old put-eyes-drops-in-coffee trick to Trent Barreta. David Otunga (BSREG:308) comes in, gives a message from John Lauranitis that only Christmas music available to the public domain may be played and tells Foley to shut the party down. Foley, however, announces that Otunga will be in the Miracle of 34th Street Fight Match against Randy Orton. Another Kane Promo featuring the burning of his mask. Replay of the Cody Rhodes/Booker T confrontation on Raw 2 Weeks Ago (BSREG:311). The Asshole Announcer shows us a WWE '12 simulation between Cody Rhodes and Booker T. Matt Striker interviews Booker T but he is quickly attacked by Cody Rhodes. I guess the match ain't gonna happen

TYSON KIDD Vs. WWE Tag Team Champion KOFI KINGSTON : 

Evan Bourne should be back next week, I believe. Some quick-paced stuff to start off with and Tyson is able to hit a dropkick on Kofi. Tyson uses some submission moves on Kofi until Kofi knocks him down with an elbow. Kofi hits the Boom Drop and hypes for the TIP, which Tyson responds to by rolling out of the ring. Kofi follows Kidd out of the ring and hits a running dropkick. Kofi then confronts the reindeer-dressed Cole, telling him he looks ridiculous, which allows Kidd to attack from behind. This advantage is shortlived as Kofi counters an Irish whip into the apron. Kofi throws Kidd back into the ring, puts on the reindeer head that he took from Cole and hits a High Crossbody from the top rope for the win(BSREG:312). Winner: WWE Tag Team Champion Kofi Kingston by Pinfall, **1/2

The midget is backstage trying to put a bobble on the tree and Kaitlyn(whose standards are extremely low, especially considering she's got me) suggests that he ask Santa to make him a little taller. I'm changing my wish, Santa: Get rid of the midget, please. The midget storms off and Sheamus asks Teddy Long what the conditions of the battle royal tonight are. Long responds by saying he doesn't know, but says it will be worth it. Aksana comes in with mistletoe. She and Teddy leave. BTW, Curt Hawkins was in the background(BSREG:314).

Miracle on 34th Street Fight: RANDY ORTON Vs. DAVID OTUNGA : 

First time I have seen Otunga wrestle since beginning this Harvard Law graduate gimmick. The fight quickly goes to the outside with Orton throwing Otunga into a Christmas tree. Otunga responds by charging Orton into the apron but fails to drive Orton headfirst into the announce table, which Orton is able to do. Orton then gets a tray of Christmas cookies, eats one and then hits David with the tray. Orton then puts one of those pushs that you put on doors on Otunga's shoulders, shouts "Ho Ho Ho"(which is what I call my 3 Special Girls this season) and throws him into another Christmas tree along with the ring steps. Otunga is able to recover and hits a suplex on the outside. Otunga searches the inside of the ring and gets a huge candy singapore cane, but gets quickly taken down by Orton before he can use it. Orton begins the beatdown and hits Otunga with the cane. Otunga makes a run for it but Orton catches up with him by throwing a present at him and then throws him into the Christmas stage setup. Orton takes him back to the ring and hits his DDT on the outside. My boy, W. Barrett, then comes out, throws Orton into the ringpost and then hits a big boot. He then throws Orton back into the ring, and David as well, to get the pin but Orton kicks out(FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!). Orton hits his Death Sequence ending with an RKO for the win. Pretty fun Brawl. Winner: Randy Orton By Pinfall, ***1/2

Teddy Long & World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry are in the doctors office. Henry blames Long for having to defend his title tonight but says he will send Daniel Bryan a message tonight and he will give him the worst beating of his life. He then tells Long to get out of his face. We are then a shown a replay of Bryan's attempted cash in on Henry last week.

All I want for Christmas Over the Top Rope Battle Royal(TYSON KIDD, HEATH SLATER, PERCY WATSON, TITUS O'NEIL, TYLER REKS, EZEKIEL JACKSON, TED DIBIASE, JINDER MAHAL, JTG, JUSTIN GABRIEL, JOHNNY CURTIS, DARREN YOUNG, CURT HAWKINS, KOFI KINGSTON, JIMMY USO, JEY USO, HUNICO, YOSHI TATSU, SHEAMUS & THE MIDGE) : 

That was as many of the participants I could catch (BSREG:316). Eliminations(again, as I can catch them) are as followed:

Darren Young By Sheamus, one of the Usos By Sheamus, JTG By Hunico, Curt Hawkins By Ezekiel Jackson, Ezekiel Jackson By Sheamus, Johnny Curtis By Sheamus, the other Uso By Kofi Kingston, Kofi Kingston By Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu By Tyson Kidd, Ted DiBiase By Tyson Kidd, Tyson Kidd By the midget, Percy Watson By ???, Justin Gabriel By Jinder Mahal, Titus O'Neil By Sheamus, Tyler Reks By Sheamus, Hunico By Sheamus, Jinder Mahal By Sheamus, Heath Slater By Sheamus, Sheamus by, uh...the midget. 

After the match, Sheamus throws the midget back into the ring, seemingly angry at him, but shakes his hand and congratulates him. Tell you what, we are gonna need 5 glasses of eggnog for that atrocity(BSREG Count:321). Now where was I? Oh yeah, Hornswoggle won the...OH GOD DAMN IT! Winner: Uh...the midget by...shit booking, **1/2

We are back to the Christmas party. Ricardo Rodriguez (BSREG Count:322) tries to invite the Bellas to Dinner but they just send him away to get drinks. Dusty Rhodes and Roddy Piper, meanwhile, are discussing John Cena, but are interrupted by Santa Claus, which causes Piper to act like a 10-year-old...more than usual, anyway. Santa gets the midget on his lap, asks him what he wants(only Santa could care) and since he can't speak, we get a fucking waste of time. Sheamus comes in and says the midget wants to express himself & talk. Santa, however...screw it, I could care less anymore. AJ wishes Daniel Bryan good luck and they kiss. Moving on...

Steel Cage Match for World Heavyweight Championship: Champion MARK HENRY Vs. "Mr. Money In The Bank" DANIEL BRYAN : 

According to a WWE.com exclusive, Bryan knows 17 submission moves that he could use on Henry's bad leg. That is 17 moves that he knows but probably won't use because of other wrestler usage or WWE telling him not to use them. Bryan quickly tries to escape the cage twice but Henry catches him both times. Bryan tries kicking Henry but he is pushed away and so Bryan starts going for the injured leg. This does not prevent Henry from throwing Bryan into the cage. Henry splashes Bryan into the cage before the commercial break. Bryan is able to lock in the LeBell Lock after dropkicking the bad leg of Henry. Henry lifts himself out of it, but his leg falters, Bryan locks in an Ankle Lock, but Henry again gets out by kicking Bryan away. Bryan attempts to escape the cage again but Henry throws him off and tries to escape himself. Bryan, however, catches up and climbs over him, reaching the top, but Henry holds on to Daniels' arm, keeping him on the top. Bryan attempts to hit a hurricanrana but Henry holds on so Bryan attempts to climb out again. Henry grabs onto his arm again, drags him back inside the cage and hits a WSM from the middle rope to get the pinfall victory. ***1/2

Despite how good the Steel Cage main event was and how fun the Street Fight, was the rest was just stinking yellow snow.

Brand Split Reindeershit Eggnog Game Count:322






                                                     WWE Smackdown, 10/28/11 by Zak Fellows 

                                                                          Kori's Dream Fulfilled

Welcome to Smackdown. Teddy Long is in the ring and says that after Vengeance, both Mark Henry and Big Show are here despite their injuries, and the future of the World Title will be addressed later. Christian comes out, saying that Big Show had his chance and blew it. As the crowd chants 'You Suck', Christian continues by saying he has dominated Smackdown for the last 5 months despite losing to Sheamus last Sunday as nobody is more resilient, which brings out CM Punk(BSBDG Count: 242). Christian continues by saying he deserves one more match and Long says that Raw wrestlers are here tonight, which of course includes Punk. Punk thanks Long, says it's good to be on a show with good leadership as he makes Lauranitis look worse by comparison. Punk says he would love to see Christian get one more match, calling him a good wrestler. Christian rips on the Summer of Punk and Punk retaliates that he doesn't waste his time bitching. Punk then says the people want to see him face Christian, which Long makes.

WWE Tag Team Champions AIR BOOM(EVAN BOURNE & KOFI KINGSTON) Vs. THE MIZ & R TRUTH :

We are shown a replay of the events involving Awesome Truth(BSBDG Count: 244) attacking John Cena on Raw(BSBDG Count: 247). R-Truth gets a blind tag on Miz, allowing him to hit the Little Jimmie on Kofi for the win(BSBDG Count: 249). After the match, Miz and Truth talk a little bit about Survivor Series and leave. Winners: The Miz & R Truth By Pinfall, **1/2 Daniel Bryan, Justin Gabriel, The Usos, Alex Riley(BSBDG Count: 250), Santino(BSBDG Count: 251), Johnny Curtis and Curt Hawkins(BSBDG Count: 252) are backstage after just watching the advert for the new Shawn Michaels/Bret Hart DVD. Bryan starts talking about his training with Shawn until Tyson Kidd comes in, says Bret was better than Shawn and the guys start getting into a debate. Santino breaks up Bryan & Kidd and says they should settle things in the ring, which the two accept. You hear that sound? It was the sound of Koriander Kori wetting herself with happiness. Teddy Long is backstage with the midget dressed like Zack Ryder and then Vickie Guerrero(BSBDG Count: 253), United States Champion Dolph Ziggler(BSBDG Count: 254) and Jack Swagger(BSBDG Count: 255) come in and gloat about Dolph still being champion, so Long puts Dolph against Randy Orton and bans Jack from ringside. In comes Aksana, and her & Long walk away together.

WADE BARRETT Vs. TRENT BARRETA : 

Wade wins with Wasteland. Winner: Wade Barrett By Pinfall, NO RATING.

RANDY ORTON Vs. United States Champion DOLPH ZIGGLER :

Before the match, Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes comes out for commentary. Orton attempts an RKO but Dolph counters it and hits a Superkick, which gets a 2 count. Dolph fails in an attempt at a Zig Zag and Orton hits an RKO for the win. Winner: Randy Orton by Pinfall, *** Matt Striker is backstage with the unmasked Sin Cara Negro. He is upset that he lost his identity and says that it is payback time.

"Mr. Money In The Bank" DANIEL BRYAN Vs. TYSON KIDD : 

And in Kori's Happiness Meter alert, it has now just passed the sun. Daniel Bryan wins with the LeBell Lock. So does that mean Shawn Michaels is better then Bret Hart? Winner: Daniel Bryan by Submission, **1/2 Raw Replay of Awesome Truth Vs. John Cena and his announcement(BSBDG Count:258). The Asshole Announcer talks about JR. Moving on...

The Big Show comes out(BSDBG Count: 259), says he is still hurt and that Henry put up a good fight but he ain't finished. Mark Henry comes out, says that Big Show will not get a rematch for the World Title and that he is done with Show. Henry goes into the ring to fight Show but then leaves, preferring to fight another day.

CM PUNK Vs. CHRISTIAN : 

Near the end of the match, Ricardo Rodriguez(BSBDG Count: 260) distracts the referee while WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio(BSBDG Count: 261) trips Punk on the top rope. Christian looks to finish off Punk but Sheamus comes out to chase off Rodriguez, in the process distracting Christian and allowing Punk to hit the GTS for the win(BSBDG Count: 263). Winner: CM Punk By Pinfall, ****

A Quick note before I go: Last week I suffered an attack of Appendicitis. I originally thought it was a regular stomach ache on Saturday, so I went for a walk in Bridgnorth(something I normally do to cure this), but it got worse, so I had no choice but to go to the hospital. They rushed me to Telford Hospital(a bigger town just a couple of miles from Bridgnorth), I had surgery the next day and was released on Wednesday. Put it this way - if the appendix had burst, it would have been a whole different story. Thank you to all the people who sent me best wishes and the nurses who took care of me, even if they did inject a crate of needles into both my hands and elbows. Anyway, later.

Brand Split Bullshit Drinking Game Count: 263

                                                     WWE Smackdown, 10/21/11 by Zak Fellows 

Mesa Redonda de la lucha libre es el número uno gracias a mí, Zak

Two nights away from Vengeance, I'm bored out of my mind, watching Smackdown from Mexico City, let's get this over with. Out comes the WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio(BSBDG Count: 221) with Ricardo Rodriguez(BSBDG Count: 222), who gets a huge pop from the crowd. He mentions his Last Man Standing WWE Title Match against John Cena this Sunday and that he was scheduled to face Big Show tonight, but because of what happened on Raw(BSBDG Count: 225) it will not happen. He is dissapointed that he won't be able to compete in Mexico, blaming John Cena for that, but says he will pay at Vengeance. Teddy Long comes out and reveals that the WWE Doctors have cleared Del Rio to compete, and since the crowd wants to see Del Rio face Big Show, he will.

World Heavyweight Champion MARK HENRY Vs. JOHN MORRISON : 

This is as a result of last Monday on Raw(BSBDG Count: 228), when Henry beat Morrison(BSBDG Count: 229). Henry overpowers Morrison at the very beginning of the match, forcing him out of the ring. He quickly hits a WSS on Morrison for the win. Loving the new set up for the WSS, by the way. Winner: World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry By Pinfall, *

Christian is backstage with Vickie Guerrero(BSBDG Count: 230) and talks about a possible business relationship since Vickie is apparently on good terms with John Lauranitis and able to tell embarrassing stories about Edge. Teddy Long comes in, announces that Christian will face Sheamus again at Vengeance and then announces that Dolph Ziggler will defend the US Title against Zack Ryder. Ryder then comes in, Woo Woo Woo You Know It(BSBDG Count: 231), and Vickie goes off screaming...literally. We get a promo for the feud between Sin Cara Azul and Sin Cara Negro.

WADE BARRETT Vs. "Mr. Money In The Bank" DANIEL BRYAN : 

Earlier today, Wade denounces his former allies in The Nexus & Corre, and that the Great Barrett Uprising will begin tonight. Barrett quickly goes on the attack after knocking away an attempt at a back hold from Bryan. Wade attempts an early Wasteland, but Bryan counters it wil a rollup that Barrett kicks out of and then retaliates with his spinning side slam. Bryan hits his corner dropkick and then attempts a middle rope splash, but Barrett catches him and hits Wasteland for the win. Winner: Wade Barrett By Pinfall, ***

SHEAMUS & ZACK RYDER Vs. United States Champion DOLPH ZIGGLER & CHRISTIAN : 

Sheamus ends up chasing Christian away from the ring, countering a Zig Zag attempt and hitting the Brogue Kick on Ziggler(BSBDG Count: 232) for the win(BSBDG Count: 234). Winner: Sheamus & Zack Ryder By Pinfall, **1/2

We are shown a replay of Cody Rhodes' attack on Randy Orton last Monday(BSBDG Count: 237) and Cody comes out. He says it was because of the bloody attack at the hands of Randy Orton. He says his father was wrong about man being good, but rather that man will evil, as Randy Orton did nothing but abuse him in Legacy. Randy Orton comes out and says it was a mistake for him for letting Cody breath after costing him the World title twice. He then says being hit with the ring bell will pale in comparison to this Sunday. After a fight with Orton, Cody escapes and Randy hits the RKO on the paper bag guy.

SIN CARA NEGRO Vs. SIN CARA AZUL, Mask Vs. Mask : 

Out of sheer curiosity: Are there night vision goggles in those masks? That has to be the only way they can wrestle through those fucking lights. Sin Cara Azul hits La Mistica, which causes Sin Cara Negro to tap out. Negro doesn't want to take it off and attempts to attack Azul, so Azul takes the mask off himself, revealing Hunico. ***1/2 A Promo for Brodus Clay.

Divas Champion Beth Phoenix and Natalya are in the ring. They say they are not jealous at the Divas but rather they are angry at the audience for wanting the other Divas. Eve comes out(BSBDG Count: 238) and shoves Beth. The End.

WWE Champion ALBERTO DEL RIO Vs. THE BIG SHOW : 

(BSBDG Count: 239). Del Rio does lock in the Cross Armbreaker but Big Show is able to get out of the hold while still feeling pain in his arm. Show looks for a chokeslam but Ricardo Rodriguez interferes, disqualifying Del Rio(BSBDG Count: 241). Show hits the WMD on Del Rio & Rodriguez and then on Mark Henry when he runs out. **1/2 

MOTN goes to Cara/Cara.

Brand Split Bullshit Drinking Game Count: 241

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