WWE NXT

WWE NXT 11/16/10 by Zak Fellows

In 2 Weeks Time = My Therapy From Watching This Season

We are only 2 weeks from crowning the winner of NXT Season 3. That means only 2 weeks until this weekly brain damage is over. As for tonight, we will see another div...women wrestler get eliminated. So who's it gonna be? Oh, what do I care?! Insert Standard NXT Season 3 opening act. Challenges will not go towards a possible immunity from elimination now. Tonight's challenge is a 'How well do you know your WWE Pro?' quiz. Oh dear. Striker brings out the pros. Results are as follows:

1.) Finish the sentence: When I first saw my rookie, I thought she was...(a stereotype?)

AJ=Underage. Primo wrote '16 years old.' That works.

Aksana=Hot. Goldust wrote 'Sexy(probably thinks she is a bitch now, though).' Correct.

Kaitlyn='So much prettier than her(true...oh, I mean HELL YEAH TRUE!)'. Vickie wrote 'a man(worst insult ever, Vickie)'. Incorrect.

Naomi=Athletic(A legitimate answer for once). Kelly Kelly says exactly that. Correct.

2.) On a scale of 1-5, rate your rookie based on in-ring work(Ha, that's hilarious). Michael Cole actually holds up a sign saying 'Stop the Pain'. NXT is the show where Cole doesn't hold back being obnoxious.

Naomi=5, which is correct.

Kaitlyn=1, because she thinks Vickie will do that but Vickie actually puts a 3. Congratulations Kaitlyn. My dear, you are officially mediocre!

Aksana=5(HAHAHAHAHAHA...piss off). Goldust puts 3 as well.

AJ=4 which is correct.

3.) Who does your rookie think should be eliminated tonight?

AJ=Aksana. Correct

Aksana=Kaitlyn. Incorrect, Goldust put AJ.

Kaitlyn=Naomi. Correct.

Naomi=Aksana. Incorrect, Kelly put Kaitlyn.

AJ wins with 3 points.

AJ Vs. AKSANA :

Goldust does not accompany Aksana to the ring in order to continue their storyline that no one cares about. AJ wins by making Aksana tap out to a head scissors. This was actually an 'ok' match. Now it is time for the ever popular 'Diss the Diva Challenge.' Thank god this is PG and scripted. Disses are as follows:

AJ=Calls Aksana out for tapping out in their match. Says nobody would know Kaitlyn if it wasn't for Vickie Guerrero(that is going to be on her head forever!) and Naomi is lacking a personality. Oh, just Naomi? Guess who chants "Bor-ing" while sounding like an obnoxious prick? Yeah, that prick.

Aksana=Says Kaitlyn was on Jerry Springer, tells Naomi to stay away from Goldust, calls AJ tiny and tells her to go to Kindergarten.

Kaitlyn=Compares NXT to high School with Naomi being a jock, Aksana the weird foreign exchange student and AJ a nerd with her(obviously) being the prom queen. She starts fighting with Aksana when she says 'USA' stands for 'U Suck, Aksana.'

Naomi=Asks the fans if Kaitlyn has nice legs(YES SHE DOES! I would say more but my censors won't allow it) but her wrestling isn't as good, she pretends to be AJ by jumping up & down acting excited, and says that Aksana will be eliminated tonight. The audience decides that Naomi wins. However, AJ wins immunity from elimination tonight. Matt Striker asks the pros about the rookies. And the eliminated rookie is...Aksana, who breaks down on the ground crying. Aksana insists that someone made a mistake on this elimination and she will go to Vince McMahon's office to sort it out. Goldust stops her and tells her he wants a divorce. What a short marriage.

WWE NXT 11/9/10 by Zak Fellows

Michael Cole Fell Asleep During The Show...Lucky Bastard

Let the countdown to the end of this embarassment of a season of NXT begin! Tonight from Manchester, England, Matt Striker starts the show by(you guessed it!) bringing out the rookies. But Wait! Goldust comes out. Goldust says that he wants an explanation from his rookie Aksana for what she did at their wedding last week. Aksana comes out with the Million Dollar Championship that she stole on Raw. Goldust knows she doesn't love him and the only reason she married him was so her immigration problems would be solved. Aksana says she doesn't want the Million Dollar Championship; it wasn't Goldust's to begin with and when they get divorced, she will get half of a million dollars. Aksana starts a 'USA' chant until Goldust tells her to stop. Michael Cole actually calls Goldust saying, "Manchester, England" a 'cheap pop'. Ok, don't actually acknowledge what the technical term for it is. Naomi comes out and says she doesn't want Aksana kicked out because she 'see's through Aksana's make up'(in other words, she saw her for what she really was like). Naomi challenges Aksana, which Goldust accepts on her behalf. It's time for the first challenge of the night...arm wrestling. Results are as follows:

-A.J. Vs. Aksana=Aksana wins

-Kaitlyn Vs. Naomi=Kaitlyn wins

-Aksana Vs. Kaitlyn=Aksana is disqualified when she pulls on Kaitlyn's hair. Michael Cole sleeps during this challenge. What a professional(!)

NIKKI BELLA Vs. AJ :

Nikki manages to get AJ out of the ring and ram her into the apron. Nikki and Brie get into an argument, then AJ wins with a school girl roll up. A 'Stand Up For WWE' promo. Absolutely nothing. Our next contest will be a 'High School photo' challenge. A picture from a wrestler's high school years will be shown and, using the ever popular air horn, the first rookie to answer correctly will get a point. Most points win. The results are as follows:

1.) Eve(looks a little different than she does today when you consider that it was probably only a few years ago. OH SNAP!)=AJ gets it.

2.) Jack Swagger(wearing a medal to symbolise his gimmick even more)=AJ again. Kaitlyn's horn breaks so they get her another one.

3.) John Cena(he looks like he is 12 years old in that picture)=Naomi gets it.

4.) Chavo Guerrero(Nice hair, Chavito)=Kaitlyn.

5.) Jerry Lawler=No one gets it.

6.) Mark Henry=Kaitlyn. It's a tie between Kaitlyn and AJ so there is a tie breaker.

7.) John Morrison=AJ, so AJ wins the contest. Kaitlyn is backstage with Vickie Guerrero, who gloats about her win last Smackdown and says Dolph Ziggler is over her. Kaitlyn says she has a big butt(like Trish Stratus did with Molly Holly a couple of years ago. Let's just hope this doesn't lead to a match where the loser has to wear a thong. Wait a minute! Kaitlyn + Thong=yes YES! YES YES YES YES YES YES HAPPY DAY!). Vickie slaps Kaitlyn and Kaitlyn starts a catfight which is broken up by two referees.

NAOMI Vs. AKSANA :

I got pretty bored of this match and distracted but I was able to catch the finish; Naomi won with a weak-looking kick to Aksana's head, which looks as if the audience either didn't believe or didn't know that it was her finisher.

WWE NXT 11/2/10 by Zak Fellows

A Kevin Dunn & Zak Fellows Joint Production. Can This Make The Show Good?

The big news is that this edition of NXT was leaked with Kevin Dunn's commentary on it. Tonight from Bridgeport, Connecticut is the wedding of Aksana & Goldust which is shown in a intro package as Kevin Dunn sets up instructions for the commentators & Matt Striker to follow for the opening of the show. Matt Striker brings out the rookies, or as Dunn calls them, "Woman #1, 2, etc." Ha, he doesn't even give the women a name. Dunn instructs putting the score of the challenges up which are as follows:

1.) Naomi-3

2.) AJ-1

3.) Kaitlyn-1

4.) Maxine-1

5.) Aksana-0(oh, the wedding girl is in last place).

Aksana is excused from this competition so she can prepare for her 'wedding', and because mathematically she can't earn immunity. Striker's words, not mine. Unfortunately, Kevin Dunn prepares the torture ritual that is the Midget's entrance music, so thank you Mr Dunn for giving away how terrible this segment is going to be. The 1st contest will be a 'Kissing Contest'. The judge is...shit!...the midget. Dunn instructs Maxine to look angry because, as he says, 'Maxine has issues with the midget'. Thank you for telling me what I already knew Kev. Dunn ques the Kiss Cam music. The Midget kisses Kaitlyn aggressively first(THAT SHOULD OF BEEN ME! Kissing Kaitlyn, not kissing the midget). Maxine is next but shoves the midget(YAY!) and says she is not kissing the troll. Maxine grabs the midget by his stupid little beard and tells him to go away(YAY! X2!). So the midget leaves sad(like we care) and Dashing Cody Rhodes comes out. Cody says that he is both here for his brother's wedding and also to be the new judge now that the midget is gone. That actually really fits his character of being a narcissist. Kaitlyn has to go again. Dunn says that Cody applies lip balm before kissing, which makes sense I suppose. So Cody puts mouth spray on Maxine, which results in Maxine demanding that he kiss her hand. Naomi says she will not kiss Cody. Dunn starts the music again as Cody ends up doing AJ's finger nails, implies that AJ is a virgin and says he is rooting for her. AJ ends up jumping onto Cody while kissing him(JESUS, I THOUGHT THIS WAS PG!). Because of this, Cody says that AJ is the winner. Dunn cuts to Michael Cole wearing a t-shirt with a tuxedo picture on it and Josh Matthews as Dunn instructs the rookies to go backstage. Unfortunately, the version of this show does not have good sound for the commentators so I can't tell you what they are saying. Dunn cuts backstage to AJ and Primo. During the promo, The Bellas are seen along with Dusty Rhodes.

KELLY KELLY Vs. ALICIA FOX :

Alicia starts a shoving match at the beginning of the match which results in a 5-second catfight(or as Joey Styles would say...CATFIGHT!!!!!). Alicia misses a scissors kick which looked like it would have actually hit Kelly properly(even though she didn't even jump) and Kelly gets into a sunset flip for a 2 count. Kelly hits her leg drop for the win. Dunn apparently didn't see the finish and told the crew not to play any replays. Backstage, Primo and AJ spot the midget making out with Maxine. When Maxine notices that they saw her, she pushes the midget away. So we got some kind of Midget-Rookie Div...Wrestler secret romance. Sick. The next challenge of the night is a Wedding gift scramble. In one of the presents is a flag. First one to find it wins. Kaitlyn finds it first as Dunn quickly tells the crew to cut the music playing.

A 'Stand Up For WWE' promo(featuring multi-generation wrestlers), which Dunn says is 'a fucking great video'. Hmm. I am still critical. AJ and Primo backstage again as they catch Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn kissing each other, which Vickie sees on the Titantron and storms backstage. Vickie and Kaitlyn start a catfight as two men(1 of them being uhhh...Big D*ck Johnson) hold a cake which Kaitlyn throws into Vickie. Dunn actually jokingly says, 'Cake, that's bad'. Vickie screams like the flipping Banshee. Seriously, I had the sound at full blast because I couldn't hear it too well and it fucking blasted my ears.

It's time for the wedding. Dunn says 'it will be the best thing in the night'. Cody Rhodes comes out first. Next, Dusty Rhodes comes out. Then the uhhh Midget. The marital music is qued again as Goldust, wearing face paint and with the Million Dollar Title, comes out. The minister in the ring tells everybody to rise as Aksana comes out wearing a...very revealing outfit for a wedding dress. The minister begins the speech and Goldust & Aksana give their vows. When the minister asks if anybody objects, he himself objects and states everybody has a price as Ted DiBiase Jr. & Maryse come out. DiBiase says he paid off the minister to not finish the ceremony so Aksana has to be deported and calls an agent out. He says if Goldust gives back the Million Dollar Title, he will let them get married. Dusty gets on the mic. and says he got his own minister...Ted's father, The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase Sr. Dunn says, 'Ted can't believe it'. I guess Dusty and Ted are forgetting the fact that Ted stole Dusty's girlfriend/friend Sapphire in the 90's. Ted Sr. says the look on his sons face is 'priceless' and then gives his signature evil laugh. That reminds me, I need my own evil laugh. Ted continues the ceremony but before Goldust kisses Aksana, Dusty kisses her, then Aksana slaps Goldust and walks off. Hmm, didn't see that coming; normally the slaps happen a month after the wedding. Before the show ends, Matt Striker reveals that Maxine has been eliminated as Dunn ques the buzzer. Maxine gives a farewell speech and ends the show.

This show was bad, even though it did feature a intriguing continuation to the Aksana/Goldust story. However, some of the structure of the show was way off.

WWE NXT 10/19/10 by Zak Fellows

How Low Can They Go? At This Rate, We Will Be Meeting Satan Himself!

From Edmonton, Alberta Canada, it is none other then WWE's regular bad comedy night NXT! Like every show, it starts with Matt Striker bringing out the rookies. The next elimination will be in 2 weeks. Why can't we just pick the winner through the simple elimination method known as 'Eenie Meenie Minie Moo?' Striker explains the rules again, but is interrupted by the fans booing as Vickie Guerrero comes down. Michael Cole says that he would love to be Vickie's vest. Wow Cole, I thought you were just a stupid, ignorant, arrogant and unfunny person, but I didn't know you were sick and perverted. Tonights Vickie rant will be on Kaitlyn's choice of attire(which looks good admittedly). It just became more obvious that Vickie has terrible mic skills, which is really the only thing a character like her can do. Yes, she gets good heat, but that doesn't change her screaming and whining. Vickie has a gift for Kaitlyn, which is a sweatshirt to cover her body. Kaitlyn refuses to put it on and Maxine gets involved, giving some positive comments to Vickie, which results in Alicia Fox coming down and complaining, which ultimately leads to Matt Striker making a match between Kaitlyn Vs. Maxine. Oh goodie!

KAITLYN Vs. MAXINE :

Kaitlyn wears the sweatshirt given to her by Vickie. Bet she takes it off in the match as a sign of defience. Alicia and Vickie actually talk on the mic during this match. Listening to Michael Cole was bad enough. Maxine uses the hood of the sweatshirt to her advantage by putting it over Kaitlyn's face. While on commentary, Cole takes a phone call from his mother. Wow, great dedication to your job, pal! Maxine botches a sunset flip for the win. Cole hypes the Stand Up For WWE initiative. I sort of understand why they're doing this initiative(in order to garner support and sympathy for the company that it clearly does not have a lot of, outside of their own audience). And yes, this is probably just something put in in order for Vinnie to help his wife to get that senator position that she has paid a lot of money for. However, there is 1 big problem: Most of the bad publicity they get is because of their own actions and not negative rumours and news spread by others in order to sabotage them. For example, Lance Cade's death. Now as we all know, Linda McMahon's comments about Cade were that she 'probably met him once.' This was the course of action that she took instead of offering condolences to the family and friends, which made her an enemy in Lance's father. Now I may not understand this as much as many of you do because I don't care and I am not interested, but these comments really made me sick. Why the hell should I care about a company or a individual who showed pretty much little-to-no sympathy about the death about one of their former employees(or independent contractors, which they are also in the shitter for)? Now, this is not necessarily a knock on every individual in the company, because I know that a lot of them cared about Cade and WWE did try to help Cade with his addictions. I ain't gonna mention HWWDNSO because Eric pretty much cleared that up on the show, but even when they implemented a Wellness Policy, they still are not doing what they are capable of doing in cleaning up their company's image and potentially save the lives of not just the wrestlers, but the people the wrestlers are, because although we are upset for these people dying, it really is the families of those people we should be feeling sorry for. So no, I am not going to 'Stand Up For WWE', because quite frankly, they haven't given me a single fucking reason to support them. Yes WWE, it's true that only 5 wrestlers have died while under contract with your precious company, but that doesn't mean you are not responsible for the deaths of wrestlers who have died after you have fired them. So to sum it up, 'Stand up for WWE'=OH FUCK OFF! Anyway, up next is a 'guess the body' challenge. Well, I think the male demographic will be down by a lot during this challenge. The Rookies will use airhorns like they did last week in order to answer the question. Results are as follows:

1:Cody Rhodes=Naomi

2:Kelly Kelly=Naomi guesses Michelle McCallaway, which is wrong(Nah, Michelle's too skinny, why do you think they push her? Cause shes married to...oh). Kaitlyn gets it right.

3:John Morrison=Kaitlyn

4:Maryse=Naomi

5:John Cena=AJ

6:Gail Kim=AJ

7:Vladimir Kozlov=Maxine

8:Melina=Naomi

The scores are

1)Naomi=3 Points

2)Kaitlyn=2 Points

3)AJ=2 Points

4)Maxine=1 Points

5)Aksana=0 Points

Naomi wins. Well, that contest was embarassing. Not as embarassing then the fact I got most of them right. Later, it will be Kelly Kelly and Naomi Vs. The Bella Chin Twins. Goldust is backstage with the Million Dollar Title and Aksana. Aksana is happy that all her immigration problems will be gone when she marries Goldust in 2 weeks. Bit quick, ain't it? I bet she gets eliminated that night. Next is a limbo contest. I always hated this game. Tell you what - i will just say that the winner is Naomi.

KELLY KELLY & NAOMI Vs. THE BELLA TWINS :

Michael Cole goes on a rant at the beginning of the match over Naomi posting a comment on Twitter that she could knock Cole out. First of all, any woman and child could do that, and secondly, how does Cole know about Naomi's tweets when he just claimed that he doesn't go on the internet? Idiot. The Bellas win when they do a switch while the ref is distracted.

Bad show.

WWE NXT 10/12/10 by Zak Fellows 

Moral Of The Show? 'To Avoid Deportation, Get Married To The First Person You See!

Yeah, shit lesson. Tonight's NXT takes place at The Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon. The shows starts with Matt Striker bringing out the rookies, like he does EVERY...SINGLE...FUCKING...WEEK! All the rookies are holding air horns. Oh jesus, I don't like where this is going. The next elimination will be in 3 weeks time. Looks like I was wrong about what I said in last week's recap. The competition ranks have been wiped clean, so all the rookies are back at 0 points. Tonight's contest is a 'WWE Name that tune'. 5 second snippets of entrance themes will play. The rookie will then use the air horn and guess the correct answer. Whoever gets the most points win. I can recognise the entrance themes pretty well. Round results are as followed:

FIRST ROUND :

Theme 1(Sheamus). AJ gets it first

Theme 2(Teddy Long). AJ gets it again. Cole calls her a 'nerd' for what having good ears and quick reflexes. VINTAGE ASSHOLE!

Theme 3('The Cobra' Santino Marella). Naomi gets it.

Theme 4(Edge). AJ again. She's good at this. Probably cause she's booked that way, but oh well.

Theme 5(John Cena). The kids watching this show probably immediately shouted 'Cena' after the first beat. AJ again.

Theme6(Kofi Kingston). AJ...again.

Theme 7(The Miz). AJ. Cole tells her to get a life. What's the matter, Cole? Jealous that AJ recognises most entrances themes even though you've had a job for about a decade? VINTAGE DUMBASS!

Theme 8(Melina). Take a guess.

SECOND ROUND. Themess are worth 200 points and it's 3 second snips :

Theme 1(DX). AJ.

Theme 2(Randy Orton). AJ again.

Theme 3(Zack Ryder, which is a really good theme. Weird, but good). AJ.

Theme 4(Dusty Rhodes). I'm sure you can tell who gets it.

Theme 5(Trish Stratus). Yeah, yeah.

Theme 6(Legion of Doom). Nobody gets it, ending AJ's little streak.

Theme 7(Vince McMahon). Striker gives it away a little by saying, 'if you don't get it, good luck in your future endeavours.' TRIPLE H? AJ gets it.

That's the end of the contest. The final results are:

1. AJ: 1900 points

2. Naomi: 100 points

The rest got 0. Bragging Rights is sponsored by WWE Smackdown Vs. Raw 2011. I am actually looking forward to buying that game, along with Dragon Ball Raging Blast 2(To play against me, you can find MrPerfect2000Z on the Playstation Network).

NAOMI Vs. ALICIA FOX :

I don't see this going well. Maxine joins commentary. Alicia tries to stop Naomi's offence by pleading, but then gets on the offence first chance she gets. A lot of Alicia's moves are either botched or very aggressive, and therefore dangerous. Naomi misses a high crossbody because she either A) came up short in the jump, B) it was supposed to happen, or C) Alicia was supposed to catch her but fucked up. Alicia then botches her scissors kick by missing the head...and the back...and the...lower back. She then attempts it again and hits the lower back for the win. Hang on for a second, isn't the whole point of the scissors kick supposed to be to hit the back of the target's head and neck? If so, then there is clearly a difference between Alicia's kick and Booker T's kick(sorry I mentioned those two in the same sentence). Goldust and Aksana are backstage with Goldust trying to cheer her up but she is still depressed with her Visa dilemma. Goldust reassures her and starts giving her pointers. Glad to see Goldust is actually being what a coach is by actually giving her advice, although he is missing the 'act like a obnoxious drill sergeant on too much de cafe' part. Later on tonight, there will be a 'Punch Out' challenge. Let's get Drago from Rocky IV to set a bench mark score! However, now Striker wants the rookies to show the WWE Un...Audience their personality(You know the little personality they have).

Naomi: Naomi decides to complain about Michael Cole(YEAH!). She accuses him of having a bad attitude and trying to be Jim Ross(to which Cole responds by saying, 'I ain't fat and don't wear a cowboy hat'. Disrespectful prick. Finally, she tells him to do something about his hair.

AJ: A personal ad. Lame.

Kaitlyn: Age before beauty. If you've seen Kaitlyn since this season started, then you can guess which Pro she makes fun off.

Aksana: America. Basically talks about how 'great' America is. I would agree with her but I ain't from America and rarely visit.

Maxine: Disrespect. Talks about the Midget's pie face last week.

Vickie and Kaitlyn are backstage. Vickie says that she will let bygones be bygones but tells her to stay away from Dolph Ziggler. Now it's time for the Power Punch challenge. Most points win. Again, where's Ivan 'I Must Break You' Drago when you need him? Points are as follows:

Naomi: 814 points, but since Naomi hit the bag with two hands, she has to do it again(Well done for explaining that catch, Matt Striker). 801 points.

AJ: 362 points. Fits the gimmick a bit, I guess.

Kaitlyn: Disqualified because she missed the bag, I guess.

Aksana: 666 points

Maxine: 602 points

Naomi wins.

AJ Vs. AKSANA :

AJ quickly wins with a roll up. After the match, in order to both comfort Aksana and save her from being deported, Goldust proposes marriage. Michael Cole gives a very stupid snigger after Goldust proposes. Asshole. Aksana accepts. Well, I've seen weirder reasons to get married.

Starting from next week I will introduce a new element to my NXT recaps. I will leave you to guess. Later Guys.

WWE NXT 10/5/10 by Zak Fellows 

Sum Up The Show In 3 Words? Ok : This Show Sucked

You know this show is becoming a great stress reliever for me. NXT is now airing on WWE.com because nobody wanted this show except for the ones who actually produce the show. Tonight is the first elimination night and Matt Striker brings them out, including my new crush Kaitlyn, who will face 'Miss Catchphrase' Vickie Guerrero tonight in what is sure to be a absolute classic...car crash. Striker explains what will happen tonight : The competition's standings(cause that seems to matter more then actual matches) are as follows, along with comments from me on their potential(well, as close to potential as these can actually get to the actual thing) :

1st - AJ(3). She has shown some personality due to being a little bit different and isn't too bad

2nd - Naomi(2). Good in matches but horrible on the mic.

3rd - Kaitlyn(2). Ok. As a lot of you know, I find her very attractive and she isn't too bad in matches and promos but her big selling point is she's attractive & blond. You know, like half of the Divas(WRESTLERS!).

4th - Jamie(1). She does not stand out, simply put.

5th - Aksana(0). An accent and that's it.

6th - Maxine(0). Despite throwing the midget off the wheelbarrow last week(which everybody, and their mother, and mother's dog wish they could do), she shows nothing other than a bunch of outfits that show off her...neck

Tonight's first contest will be a mechanical bull challenge. You know I've never liked these. First, the Bellas demonstrate how the challenge works, even though a lot of us can pretty much either guess or know the rules. I guess this was primarily for the men to watch because of the Bella's nice...backs. Who ever stays on the yadda yadda blah blah you know the deal. Times are as follows : 

Naomi=12.5 seconds

Aksana=17.9 seconds

AJ=9.6 seconds

Jamie=10.9 seconds

Maxine=9.8 seconds

Kaitlyn=10 seconds

Aksana wins. Cole calls it 'Bull'. Can't say the full word can he?

AKSANA Vs. MAXINE :

Goldust still has the Million Dollar Belt that he stole from DiBiase on the last Raw. Aksana quickly botches a takedown and follows with a weak kick to the back of the head. Maxine then hits a good spinning neck breaker and gets Aksana into an abdominal stretch, using her leg to lock Aksana's head. Maxine hits Aksana with a clothesline but as she goes for the pin, Aksana gets her in a roll-up for the win. This match had about 2 moves that looked good and the surprise roll-up looked weak. NO RATING. A Raw replay of Cena joing Nexus. I think that at Bragging Rights, John should join Nexus willingly and be a top heel, but I doubt that will happen. Up Next is another competition - a Talent Show. Oh great. It's at times like these that I'm glad that there aren't 8 rookies, which would make these contests last longer. Rules are simple : Each rookie gets a turn, fans decide the winner. Talents are as follows:

Aksana=Push ups. Sounds like something that anybody can do. Well, almost. Aah, but there's a catch - Aksana does the push ups while her legs are being flexed on her arms. So her real talent seems to be a degree of Yoga and admittedly it was a little impressive.

Naomi=A Rap. Get it, cause she's black, and being black, she has to be able to(in WWE's eyes) rap like, every black person. She was ok, but I have never cared for rap enough to pay attention.

AJ=She says jokingly to give Michael Cole a personality. Ha, that would require the infinite power of christ and a planet alignment. No, her talent is flexibility and does some splits, making me notice that AJ has a nice...back. A bit boring to be honest.

Jamie=Turning men on. Well, that makes her both a WWE stereotype and talentless. She kisses Matt Striker. Replace Striker with me & Jamie with Kaitlyn and we have a deal.

Kaitlyn=Draws a picture of Vickie Guerrero. A Stickfigure with a giant...back and stink lines while saying, "Excuse me!"

Maxine=She apologises to the midget for last week. DON'T APOLOGISE, IT'S THE ONLY REASON I LIKE YOU! She baked a pie for the midget. She throws some cream of the pie into the midget's face. YES, YOU'Re STILL MY FAVO...Well, ok, Kaitlyn's my favourite, but you're close. The Midget then throws the pie in her face. They just can't have a night without the midget getting the upperhand, can they? Kaitlyn wins immunity from elimination for tonight. Goldust and Aksana are backstage when some suit shows up to say that Aksana has 4 weeks to get her immigration papers in order or she will be deported. 4 weeks is pretty much the length the rest of this season will last.

KAITLYN Vs. VICKIE GUERRERO :

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler is at ringside appropriately because he is one of the reasons these 2 are feuding. Vickie does some stretching exercises before the match starts and stalls until Kaitlyn drop toeholds her to the ground. Vickie actually takes a good bump for the move. They eventually go to the outside and Vickie throws Kaitlyn into the barricade. Vickie gets distracted asking Dolph why he isn't helping her, allowing Kaitlyn to get a school girl roll-up for the win. After the match, Dolph and Kaitlyn hug(Oh, jealously rising, must kill Dolph), which makes Vickie angry. This match was shit. You really expect anything else? NO RATING. It's time for the first generic rookie to leave this show and hopefully never return. I'm saying it like that because I know Kaitlyn ain't going anywhere. The eliminated rookie is...Jamie. I guess kissing the host didn't help. Jamie does a thank you speech to end the show.

Kaitlyn was the only reason I actually found this watchable. Apart from that, this show was terrible.

WWE NXT 9/28/10 by Zak Fellows 

NXT is still alive...at the moment, and I let slip of a crush

Unfortunately, CM Punk is not on commentary this week, but hey, Michael Cole is back - that must count for something right? Nope, it's absolutely shit. Matt Striker brings out the rookie stri...divas. NO! WAIT, THEY ARE WRESTLERS! In name only, mind you. Striker reminds us that the voting poll starts after the show for next week's ranking. Tonight's contest will be the wheelbarrow challenge. This is pretty much the beer keg challenge but in a way that the rookie can actually pick it up. Fastest time wins. After a so-called suggestion from a little girl in the audience, Striker says that the wheelbarrow will have the midget in it. OH, AND HERE I THOUGHT THIS SHOW COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE! If the midget falls out, the rookie will be disqualified. And if the midget gets injured and the rookie laughs at it, they will recieve an invitation to go out with me due to a mutual hatred. The times are as follows:

Maxine=14:7 seconds. She threw the midget off as soon as she crossed the line. WELL DONE, BABE! The midget ends up biting her...well, you know.

Naomi=15:2 seconds

Jamie=14:4 seconds

Kaitlyn=12:0 seconds. Before it begins, Kaitlyn puts her leg in the wheelbarrow, presumably to show what her previous profession was. Kaitlyn is the most good looking among the rookies.

AJ=17:7 seconds. To 'comfort' AJ, the midget gives her a tight hug. A little too tight apparently.

Akisane=13:9 seconds

Kaitlyn wins the contest. THANK GOD IT'S OVER! The midget puts Kaitlyn on his shoulders and surprisingly manages to support her weight. If he wasn't able to, Kaitlyn would have gotten the 'Piggie James' treatment.

Profile on AJ. At least she was actually a fan before becoming a diva(WRESTLER!). Coming up is a 'diss the diva' challenge. Oh christ, I have never (and I hope will never) agree with Michael Cole again. A Raw replay of Chris Jericho Vs. Randy Orton. It's a shame that Jericho is gone because he was probably the only good thing since 2008. Starting from next week, NXT will be shown on WWE.com. Here in the UK I assume we will still be seeing it. Oh wait, I won't because the Sports Channels have been cancelled. Ah, good ol YouTube.

Profile on Kaitlyn. A Replay of the return of Paul Bearer last week on Smackdown. As you know, the crowd was completely dead(no pun intended). They actually show the full segment from last Friday so they are pretty much killing time. It's time for the Diss the Diva challenge. The disses are as follows:

Akisane=She talks about her workout routine, saying how hurt the divas' backs are every morning from _ would presume poor training and not...certain treatments, if you catch my drift.

AJ=She talks about the other divas' bodies, how she is small compared to the others, not a stereotype and how she will redefine the word 'diva.' How about we just not use the word instead of redefining it?

Kaitlyn=She does a impression of Naomi by bending down to show her nice...spine. Naomi gives her a boot to the...spine. After that, she says that despite falling on her face, she will still win NXT.

Jamie=She says that Akisane dresses like she is from the circus, AJ looks & acts like a 10-year-old at Christmas, and Jamie will win.

Naomi=She says that her momma(yes, she said it like that) taught her about the 'nothing nice be quiet' rule, but she says that she has all the rookies beaten at Wrestling. She then disses Kaitlyn about the obstacle course challenge last week.

Maxine=She's sick of the typical divas and how they are all the same(AMEN!). She goes on about nice girls and in the background AJ & Kaitlyn are doing handshakes & patty cake. You want to look for the real patty cake champion(PCC), go to Team Four Star and check out Nappa. Yeah, plugging does help. AJ wins the challenge.

Vickie Guerrero comes down to the ring and talks about how dissapointed she is with Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn challenges Vickie to a match(Please say no, Please say no...). She accepts(OH CRAP!) for next week. Vickie slaps Kaitlyn and Kaitlyn attacks her while Cole starts chanting for Vickie. You know a WRESTLING show has gone downhill when the WRESTLING show has no WRESTLING matches. So, bad show in the 'WRESTLING(ok i'll stop that now)' department. Having said that, though Kaitlyn looked really strong on this show, despite the inevitable indigestion that will be Kaitlyn Vs. Vickie Guerrero next week. LOVE YOU KAITLYN!

Since you guys now know my email address from my Bio page, please be my guest to send messages & suggestions as to how I can make my recaps better, or just for interaction. I am always eager to meet wrestling fans. Later guys

WWE NXT 9/21/10 by Zak Fellows 

CM Punk & Michael Cole On Commentary Would Equal Ratings If The Rest Of The Show Was Good

Michael Cole's exit last week has been pretty much the only good thing since this whole season started, not because it means there will be someone other then Cole commentating this shit, but because it was actually entertaining. CM Punk immediately comes out to take Cole's empty chair on commentary. Oh Yeah, what a replacement! Josh Matthews said that AJ was his favourite, which Punk countered with the line, 'If she's your pick, she doesn't have a hope.' Ha, that was actually pretty good. In 2 weeks will be the first elimination, assuming the show is still gonna be somewhere. By the way, I think they will just use the website to show it, if that's the last resort. Tonight, Kaitlyn will face Jamie. Vickie tells Kaitlyn that Laycool will help Kaitlyn tonight. Oh god, and I thought we were safe from these 2 on Tuesdays! They come out with 2 Divas titles to symbolize the unification of the titles at Night Of Champions. I have to say that it is a real shame that the Womens title has been abandoned while the Diva's title remains. So sad. McCallaway says they're reason that Kaval won Season 2. More like they're the reason I have lost hope in the Womens division. Laycool mocks Jamie's pros, the Bella Twins. At least The Bellas aren't as annoying as you two, who are the measuring stick of that factor now. Kelly Kelly interrupts Laycool's tirade of pointlessness and challenges Laycool to a six-woman tag between Naomi, Kelly and Jamie Vs. Laycool and Kaitlyn. Laycool accept. It's time for a...(oh hoo, bloody ray) ...Challenge. It's musical chairs. Well, we all have played musical chairs at some point in our lives, and the 2004 Raw musical chairs contest(when Eugene was briefly guest host) was actually very entertaining with Ric Flair, Tajiri and The Coach. To save time, I will just say that AJ wins despite Naomi sitting on most of the chairs with her humungous...back.

Tonight, AJ will face Maxine. Akisane & Goldust are backstage. Akisane says that she got a letter from US Immigration(oh geez, I don't like where this is going), and there are problems with her working Visa; she may be deported. Goldust reassures her.

AJ Vs. MAXINE :

Maxine's attire really does show her...arms. AJ hits a brain buster on Maxine(who Punk 'accidently' calls 'Francine') for the win. Boring match. 1/2* After the match Michael Cole comes out and says that 'alot of people want him to return to NXT.' Just as your heel persona, not as your face persona. Cole says NXT is unwatchable without him. Actually, it's unwatchable whether or not you are here, Colel; Punk just stopped me from hating the show completely. Punk humoursly says, 'This show is bad with or without you, but thanks for coming.' Ha, second time tonight he's managed to make a funny comment. Cole then says he will return to the commentary table. As long as Punk stays then commentary will be good. Next is the talk challenge. I will just say the winner only, if you guys don't mind. Ok, Punk does say in Kaitlyn's topic about 'underwear' that, "I'm not wearing pants, and that's how I watch NXT." Strike 3 for Punk. The Winner is AJ.

KELLY KELLY, NAOMI & JAMIE Vs. LAYCOOL & KAITLYN :

Kelly Kelly and Layla start off but Kelly quickly makes a tag to Jamie. Layla takes the flower in Jamie's hair, puts it in her own hair and mocks her. Naomi gets a surprise roll up on Kaitlyn for the win. I guess we can go 1 show without Laycool winning. Bad match. NO RATING. Layla and McCallaway attack Kaitlyn to end the show.

Bad show. Only good bits were Punk's commentaty & Cole's return. When the best parts of a wrestling show belong to commentary, you know something's wrong.

WWE NXT 9/14/10 by Zak Fellow

Cole quit? Well this calls for a celebration