Bill Treadway's Column
The Best Of The Best
Matches
1) Low Ki Vs. Prince Devitt- NJPW Attack The East Coast, Manhattan, NY (5/13/11):
The greatest match I ever saw live- and that is saying A LOT. One of the stiffest and most exciting matches you’ll ever see, starting out hot and never letting up for almost 15 minutes. The match that inspired me to add a sixth star to the much vaunted five star rating system.
2) Wade Barrett Vs. Daniel Bryan- WWE SummerSlam (8/14/11):
Overshadowed by the Cena/Punk title match, this most perfect match is an unfairly neglected masterpiece of pure wrestling. Great mat wrestling, great action and a finish that actually plants a seed for the future, especially now that Bryan has the Big Gold Belt (not that Creative will think of giving us Barrett/Bryan for the Big Gold Belt on PPV, sadly)
3) WWE Champion John Cena Vs. CM Punk- WWE Money In The Bank: (7/17/11):
WWE’s best PPV main event match of 2011, bar none. Cena redeemed poor May and June PPV performances with a sterling effort here. Punk was incredible. The match had super heat and psychology. At 34:11, a slow-starter, but it soon built up into a phenomenal match that was pretty much perfect. Punk won the title and left WWE with the belt, setting up a hot angle for the future. Naturally, WWE Creative fucked it up, but that’s another column.
4) Tables Match: Randy Orton Vs. Wade Barrett- WWE TLC (12/18/11):
The best WWE Tables match since the Dudley Boyz were in town. This match was just sheer brutality and pure action. We even got hardway blood from a cut above Barrett’s eye. Orton won, but it actually made perfect sense considering Barrett already had several victories over him and they want this feud to keep going.
5) Austin Aries Vs. Jack Evans Vs. Low Ki Vs. Zema Ion- TNA Destination X (7/10/11):
One of the most intense and thrilling matches in TNA PPV history. All four were just incredible, putting forth a match that was just off-the-charts that it deserves a Top 5 spot. The crowd chanted “Sign Them All!”, but true to form, TNA failed to do just that, only signing Aries and Ion to contracts. (To be fair, they did offer Evans a deal but he turned it down, preferring to stay in Mexico.)
6)
TIE: Falls Count Anywhere: WWE Champion The
Miz Vs. John Morrison- WWE Monday Night Raw (1/3/11) AND
Mr. Anderson Vs. Bully Ray- TNA Bound for Glory (10/16/11):
The former was a textbook example of how to pull off a Falls Count
Anywhere match on free TV. Morrison and Miz did a phenomenal job of
storytelling, wrestling and brawling in a real gem of a match. The latter
was an old school ECW-style brawl that was thrilling from start to finish.
Both men beat the absolute shit out of each other in one of the most
brutal TNA matches you'll ever see.
7) Death Match: Cannon Vs. Karloff- Warriors Of Wrestling Brooklyn, NY(11/12/11):
This match reminded me of the great Axl Vs. Ian Rotten feud in old school ECW. This was one of the sickest, most unusual and best brawls I've seen in a long time. This may have marked the first time that a 32 inch HDTV became a weapon. When Karloff went through it headfirst, it gave a new meaning to "Now in HD".
8) WWE Champion Rey Mysterio Vs. John Cena- WWE Monday Night Raw (7/25/11):
A week after having an instant classic with CM Punk at MITB, Cena pulled off another sterling in-ring performance in this gem of a match. Mysterio was just as equally great. The match had a good amount of TV time and unfolded like a good novel.
9) Jushin Liger, Tiger Mask & Dan Maff Vs. Gedo, Jado & Shinsuke Nakamura- NJPW Attack The East Coast Manhattan, NY (5/13/11):
Another incredible gem from the NY New Japan Invasion show. Liger is 46 but he wrestled like he was 26 with rapid speed and agility that most guys would give their left nut for. Tiger Mask was also incredible, easily filling the large shoes of his three predecessors. Maff moved well for a big man and the heel trio were first-rate.
10) Ladder Match for vacant World Heavyweight Championship : Alberto Del Rio Vs. Christian- Extreme Rules (5/1/2011)
One of the five or six best ladder matches I've ever seen. Started slowly and built up into sheer insanity. Although I don't like interference-laden finishes (Edge distracted Del Rio by honking the horn of a limo, allowing Christian to tip him over and grab the belt), this one made perfect sense considering how the match was built up on TV. Too bad Christian’s reign was cut off at the knees two nights later.
PPVs
WWE Extreme Rules was the best PPV offering this year. It featured
two classics (Orton/Punk and Del Rio/Christian) in addition to a fairly
strong undercard. Only one match wasn’t good (Michael Cole/Jack Swagger
Vs. Jerry Lawler/JR) and even that wasn’t all that horrible.
A close second was a real surprise- WWE TLC.
This show looked weak on paper, but ended up being a surprisingly excellent
card. When even HHH and Kevin Nash have a strong match, you know it’s
a great show. Too bad few likely ordered it.
The third best PPV of the year
came from TNA of all places, who rebounded from the unique feat of three
horrible PPVs in a row with a very strong Lockdown card.
WWE’s Royal Rumble
and Elimination Chamber featured only a few matches but they
had no DUDs between them. Survivor Series featured the return
of The Rock to physical wrestling and he looked like he never left.
Unfortunately, a lot of the paying PPV audience did as it drew poorly
on PPV. Not Rock’s fault, though. How can you build up a show in barely
two weeks? The show itself was very good.
TNA had a few surprise gems that looked poor on paper- namely
Hardcore Justice and No Surrender. Destination X
was an all X-Division themed PPV and turned out to be a strong show
as expected. Bound For Glory was uneven and not giving Bobby
Roode the title that night turned out to be a tragic error, but the
show was overall a very good time with Hogan Vs. Sting being a very
pleasant surprise.
Good Shit That Happened
in 2011
New Japan Pro Wrestling Comes to America
NJPW made their first stab at an American tour with a three-night
stand in New Jersey, New York and Philadelphia. I attended the NY show
and was mesmerized. This may have been the best live show I have ever
attended- and mind you, I’ve attended some great shows in my time.
The tour was apparently successful enough that NJPW will be returning
for a West Coast tour in 2012. I hope they plan to add a few East Coast
(NY, NJ) dates in the future, too.
Mark Henry Steps Up
For over 15 years, Mark Henry was considered a lost cause- a former
weightlifter who just couldn’t make it as a wrestler. Turns out we
were all dead wrong in that regard. 2011 was the flowering of a very
real talent. Turns out Henry is a pretty good big man wrestler after
all. Turns out he is incredible on the mic, churning out some outstanding
promos. Turns out he’s a guy people actually want to see since Smackdown
ratings actually went UP when he reigned as World Heavyweight Champion.
Henry is the epitome of the 'old school heel' and he pulled it off brilliantly.
New Blood in the World Title Picture
While Cena, Edge, Punk and
Orton won World titles yet again in 2011, there were some different
faces in the Championship mix. Dolph Ziggler, Christian, Alberto Del
Rio, Mark Henry and Daniel Bryan all won one of the two Championships
in 2011. While they may have not been lengthy reigns, at least it’s
a step in the right direction.
Tag Team Revival- Sort Of
WWE’s tag team division was in the doldrums in 2011 but some steps
were taken to fix it. Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston were paired up and
given the Tag Team Championship for a several months-long reign that
is still in progress. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger were paired up
as the latest Odd Couple tag team. Cousins Primo & Epico Colon are
now a unit and set to win the Titles in 2012. While three teams don’t
seem like much, at least it’s a step in the right direction.
The Great Khali Leaves WWE
Proving there is such a thing as divine intervention.
Michelle McCool Leaves Pro
Wrestling
The Self-Made Star
Seeing that Creative was making no effort to find something for him to do, Zack Ryder took it upon himself to get over. With his YouTube videos, Ryder ended up building a cult following that has turned to full-fledged stardom. It only took Creative months afterward to capitalize and give him the US Championship.
9/8/11
Good Idea, Bad Idea by Bill Treadway & Derron Browning
The animated TV series Animaniacs featured a segment titled “Good Idea, Bad Idea”. These brief 30 second segments were often hilarious, citing a common sense activity and/or adage, then presenting the flipside. On my Facebook page, I posted a link to a compilation of these segments. Derron commented on how this concept could apply to pro wrestling. We went back-and-forth on Facebook with many such scenarios. The following is a compilation of these musings, with myself providing the first, Derron the next and so on until my capper at the end.
GOOD IDEA: Bringing
in The Hitman for a guest host spot
BAD IDEA: Bringing in a hitman to get rid of the guest host
GOOD IDEA: Bringing the
Deadman back to the ring
BAD IDEA: Bringing an actual dead man into the ring
GOOD IDEA: Hiring a well-known
booker to head the Creative team
BAD IDEA: Hiring Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara to head
any Creative team
GOOD IDEA: Having R-Truth talk
about conspiracies and Little Jimmy
BAD IDEA: Having R-Truth drop his pants and expose his Little Jimmy
GOOD IDEA: Having Jeff Hardy climb
high up a 20 foot ladder
BAD IDEA: Having Jeff Hardy climb up a 20 foot ladder while high
GOOD IDEA: Getting Melina to do
a split
BAD IDEA: Getting Melina to split right in half
GOOD IDEA: Having a hands-on approach
to wrestling
BAD IDEA: Having a hands-on approach in your talent’s pants
GOOD IDEA: Having John
Cena salute the fans
BAD IDEA: Having John Cena loot the fans
GOOD IDEA: Designating a driver for a long road trip
BAD IDEA: Designating Matt Hardy, Scott Hall or Kurt Angle as your driver
GOOD IDEA: Having a good driver
influence how you drive
BAD IDEA: Driving under the influence like Kurt, Matt and
Daffney
GOOD IDEA: Blowing
a candle
BAD IDEA: Blowing the Fink
GOOD IDEA: Having the Divas wrestle
longer matches
BAD IDEA: Having the Divas who can’t wrestle longer matches
GOOD IDEA: Setting up a hot angle
one week
BAD IDEA: Forgetting the hot angle the following week
GOOD IDEA: Asking Kelly
Kelly out on a date
BAD IDEA: Asking Kelly Kelly how many dates she’s been on
GOOD IDEA: Having a hot “I Quit”
match headline a $55 PPV
BAD IDEA: Having a gay S&M ripoff headline a $55 PPV (Over The Limit
2011, anyone?)
GOOD IDEA: Chanting Holy Shit when you see a big move
BAD IDEA: Not moving when you see Holy Shit
GOOD IDEA: Choking your opponent
with the ring ropes
BAD IDEA: Choking your chicken all over the Divas locker room
GOOD IDEA: Getting AAA for help
on your car.
BAD IDEA: Getting Mexican AAA for help on your car.
GOOD IDEA: Calling AAA to tow and
fix your car.
BAD IDEA: Calling HHH to tow and fix your car.
GOOD IDEA: Seeing Kevin Nash return
for the Royal Rumble
BAD IDEA: Seeing Kevin Nash return anytime else.
GOOD IDEA: Helping out the widow
of a popular employee
BAD IDEA: Putting the widow on TV each week
GOOD IDEA: Re-signing Booker T
as a wrestler.
BAD IDEA: Re-signing Booker T as a commentator.
GOOD IDEA: Saying your company
is Total Nonstop Action
BAD IDEA: Saying your company has Totally No Action
GOOD IDEA: Finally retiring.
BAD IDEA: Retiring several times.
GOOD IDEA: Getting a pair of twins to wrestle
BAD IDEA: Getting a pair of twins who can’t wrestle
GOOD IDEA: Changing the company
name to World Wrestling Entertainment
BAD IDEA: The new company has little wrestling and is barely entertaining
GOOD IDEA: Going to a house show
BAD IDEA: Wishing you had stayed in your house instead of going to the
show
GOOD IDEA: Asking for a photo with
a Diva
BAD IDEA: Asking for a naked photo with a Diva
GOOD IDEA: Having wrestlers cook on Live with Regis and Kelly
BAD IDEA: Having wrestlers cook on Sesame Street Live
GOOD IDEA: Having CM Punk cut a
promo
BAD IDEA: Having CM Punk cut a homo
GOOD IDEA: Kicking ass inside the
ring
BAD IDEA: Grabbing ass outside the ring
GOOD IDEA: Your theme song contains
the lyrics “I Hear Voices in my Head”
BAD IDEA: You really do hear voices in your head
GOOD IDEA: Having Randy Orton greet the fans
BAD IDEA: Having Randy Orton beat the fans
GOOD IDEA: Re-signing Gail Kim
BAD IDEA: Seeing Gail Kim resign
GOOD IDEA: Chanting
“You Can’t Wrestle” at a bad worker
BAD IDEA: Chanting “You Can’t Fuck”
at a bad worker
GOOD IDEA: Saying
“What’s Up” as a form of greeting someone
BAD IDEA: Saying “What’s Up”
multiple times as the hook of your theme song
GOOD IDEA: Stating that RKO stands
for Randall Keith Orton
BAD IDEA: Stating that RKO really stands for Roster-Killing Orton
GOOD IDEA: Having a new theme song
BAD IDEA: Having a new theme song every week
GOOD IDEA: Stating that Christian
is a whiny little runt
BAD IDEA: Stating that Kelly Kelly is a whiny little cunt
GOOD IDEA: Following your favorite
wrestler on Twitter
BAD IDEA: Following your favorite wrestler everywhere else
GOOD IDEA: Seeing the Divas in
skimpy outfits.
BAD IDEA: Seeing Michael Cole in skimpy outfits.
GOOD IDEA: Bringing in Stone Cold.
BAD IDEA: Bringing in Keith Stone.
BAD IDEA: Snorting Coke right before the main event
GOOD IDEA: Watching Monday Night Raw
BAD IDEA: Getting fucked raw on Monday nights
GOOD IDEA: Sticking it to the man
BAD IDEA: Sticking it IN the man
3/10/11
'Til Prison Do Us Part: A Hypothetical Look At Jeff Hardy's Wedding Vows
On March 9, 2011, Jeff Hardy shocked the world by unexpectedly marrying his long time girlfriend Beth Britt. The two had been engaged for the past year and have a baby daughter together. Other than an official announcement on Jeff’s Twitter account, little in the way of details have emerged. However, I got around to thinking, which is often dangerous. Modern couples prefer to write their own wedding vows, so I asked myself to suppose Jeff Hardy decided to write his own vows. Considering he is likely stoned out of his gourd enough to rival Charlie Sheen, those vows might look something like this:
I love you more than you’ll ever know
Even when you snort my entire stash of blow.
Forever darling I’ll be true
As sure as my hair is streaked with blue.
I promise nothing will keep us apart
Except for prison, whenever that will start.
Conjugal visits would be nice, that’s for sure
Lest I end up as gay as Raymond Burr.
Our love grew and grew and grew
Even as my brain turns into stew.
People doubt that we’ll be together long enough to grow old
I’m not going anywhere, just like that pesky bathroom mold.
Together we created our little baby girl- our priceless ruby.
Let’s hope the world never finds out we named her Cokie.
They say love will keep us together
Even after that storm burned down our trailer.
So here we are on our wedding day
Let’s hope my trial stays on delay.
Who said love ain’t grand?
1/16/11
Michael Cole
After hearing Michael Cole once again refer to his non-existent legion of fans as “Cole Miners”, my mind began to wander yet again. Suppose there was a person who refused to be a “Cole Miner”. Before I knew it, another song parody was born. Using Neil Young’s only #1 hit “Heart of Gold” as the backbone, I now present “Michael Cole”:
I want to chill
I’ve had my fill
I've ain’t a miner
for Michael Cole.
He can’t call simple moves
Or get names right.
I ain’t a miner
for Michael Cole
His shit’s getting old.
I ain’t a miner
for Michael Cole.
His shit’s getting old.
He sucks in Hollywood
He sucks in Redwood
Across the ocean, he stinks
That Michael Cole!
His words numb my mind,
it's such a fine line!
I ain’t a miner
for Michael Cole.
His shit’s getting old.
I ain’t a miner
for Michael Cole.
His shit’s getting old.
I ain’t no miner
for Michael Cole..
By the time Cole gets better,
I'll be gray and old.
I ain’t a miner
for Michael Co-le. No!
1/7/11
2010: A Wrestling Year in Review
I decided to just do a run through of highlights, peppered with my sarcastic remarks rather than the category-laden awards thing.
January: On January 4, 2010, the second Monday Night War began when TNA made the initial step towards moving to Mondays with a three hour special featuring the debut of Hulk Hogan. Hogan made bold claims that under his watch, he will lead TNA to heights previously unknown. More like lows, judging from ratings and PPV buy rates. It did turn out to be a damn good show. Hamada and Awesome Kong won the Knockouts Tag Team titles from Taylor Wilde and Sarita in a ****1/2 match. The fact that all four of these women would be released from TNA by year’s end is a depressing thought. AJ Styles defended the TNA World Heavyweight Championship against Kurt Angle in a ****1/2 mat classic. Meanwhile, that same night on WWE Monday Night Raw, Bret Hart made his first appearance inside a WWE ring in almost 13 years. In what will forever go down as a 'Hell Freezes Over' moment, Hart and Shawn Michaels buried the hatchet and embraced to the surprise of millions watching. Back in Delusionland/TNA, on the Genesis PPV, Hogan and Eric Bischoff decided to replace the six-sided ring that had been a staple of TNA in favor of the standard four-sided ring. Needless to say, without any advance warning, many TNA wrestlers had a hard time adjusting to the sudden change that evening, resulting in a very poor show. Only AJ Styles and Kurt Angle overcame the change, putting on yet another ****1/2 clinic. I guess it doesn’t matter whether it’s four or six sides for these two men. At the 2010 Royal Rumble, Edge made his return from an Achilles tendon injury, winning a **** Rumble match to earn a title shot at Wrestlemania XXVI. Other highlights included an awesome ****1/2 Undertaker/Rey Mysterio match for the Big Gold Belt and a ***1/2 WWE Championship match between Sheamus and Randy Orton.
February: On WWE’s Elimination Chamber PPV, the phrase ‘Ring of Fire’ received an entirely new meaning when The Undertaker suffered third degree burns after an incident involving pyrotechnics during his ring entrance. Undertaker still carried on, wrestling in a 37 minute, ***3/4 Elimination Chamber match and dropping the Big Gold Belt to Chris Jericho. In an earlier ****1/4 Elimination Chamber match, John Cena won his sixth WWE Championship, only to drop it a mere two minutes later in an impromptu match against Big Dave Batista. As for the rest of the undercard, don’t ask and I won’t tell you just how bad it was. WWECW Lite breathed its’ final breath this month, with Ezekiel Jackson defeating Christian to become the final ECW Champ. It would be replaced by NXT, a show designed to introduce rookies and recently signed indie stars. It started out well, but soon the typical stupidity that WWE Creative loves to indulge in took over. TNA held an extremely underrated Against All Odds PPV. Featuring an eight-man tournament to determine the #1 Contender for AJ Styles’ TNA World title that would be cashed in at Lockdown, the finals featured a ****1/4 match against “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero and Mr. Anderson. Several tournament matches were quite good, including Dinero/Desmond Wolfe (****), Anderson/Kurt Angle (***3/4) and Dinero/Matt Morgan (***1/2). Styles defended the TNA World title against Samoa Joe in a **** slugfest. Then there was Mick Foley/Abyss (-**) and Team 3-D against the Nasty Boys in a battle of Fat, Fatter and Fattest (-*).
March: TNA iMPACT! made the official jump to Monday nights, but would never come close to ever beating WWE Monday Night Raw in the ratings game. The morons that make up TNA Mismanagement sided with Bubba The Love Sponge over Awesome Kong, releasing the latter. Bubba already had major heat from Kong over disparaging tweets the shockjock made about the Haiti earthquake of 2010. Allegedly Bubba made the problems even worse by making threatening phone calls to Kong in the middle of the night, placing special emphasis such slurs as “n*****s in Haiti”, her “Jimmy Walker lips” and “Monkey Kong”. The end result was Bubba becoming the recipient of a beating that rivaled Rodney King’s in 1992. Kong filed a lawsuit against Bubba that has yet to be taken up in court. Needless to say, most of the talent turned out to be extremely unhappy over Kong’s release. Over in McMahonland, Wrestlemania XXVI featured both the Best and Worst matches of 2010. In the best, The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels topped their ***** Mania 25 match, with the stipulation that should HBK lose, he would retire. Michaels lost, so the following night on Raw, he made his temporary farewell from WWE. Bret Hart came out of retirement to “wrestle” Vince McMahon in what had to be the most misguided, ill-advised match of 2010. John Cena regained the WWE Championship from Big Dave in a ****1/2 bout, while Chris Jericho retained the Big Gold Belt against Edge in a ***3/4 match. Jack Swagger won the sixth annual Money In The Bank match and cashed in his title shot two nights later, winning the Big Gold Belt from Jericho.
April: After two months of endless bad publicity, Hulk Hogan could no longer protect Bubba The Love Sponge’s job as TNA Mismanagement finally fired the shockjock. TNA also managed to put on a better PPV than WWE did. Lockdown was strong show from start to finish, featuring a ***** Kurt Angle/Mr. Anderson match that was just incredible, a ****1/2 AJ Styles/D’Angelo Dinero TNA World title match and a ****1/4 Lethal Lockdown match between Team Hogan and Team Flair. Douglas Williams was stripped of the X-Division title due to being stuck in Europe thanks to the Icelandic volcano eruption(Most of the Raw roster was also stuck in Europe, making for one of the worst Raws of 2010). This may be the only title change via volcano. Sean Waltman no-showed the PPV, causing my mother to quip that Sex-Pac was probably stoned somewhere on the highway. The sad part was it was likely the truth. In a major shocker, Rob Van Dam won the TNA World Heavyweight Championship from AJ Styles the night after Lockdown. Ratings still continued to sink faster than the Titanic did. Extreme Rules was a really bad PPV with only two highlights on an eight match card: a **** HHH/Sheamus Street Fight and a ****1/2 Last Man Standing match between John Cena and Batista.
May: The second Monday Night War came to an abrupt end when TNA removed iMPACT! off Monday nights after receiving record low ratings and losing over half of their loyal viewing audience. For reasons unknown to anyone with common sense, Drew McIntyre was stripped of the Intercontinental title, only for Vince McMahon to return the title two weeks later to his pet project. It was all for naught as Kofi Kingston claimed the title one week later at the Over the Limit PPV, a mere week after it was returned to McIntyre. Stupid title changes weren’t exclusive to Smackdown this month, as Bret Hart won the US Championship from The Miz in one of the worst matches of the year. Bret vacated the title one week later after being named the General Manager of Raw. Big Dave Batista retired from wrestling to try his hand at acting and MMA. He did put over John Cena in a ****1/4 “I Quit” match before leaving, to his credit.
June: The Nexus made their shocking debut at the conclusion of the June 8th Raw, attacking John Cena & CM Punk and wreaking havoc all over ringside. While most raved about the angle, there was one lone detractor: me. I found the violence and vandalism to be wretched excess. Five days later, Daniel Bryan was released by WWE due to pressure from an as-of-yet unnamed outside source. Supposedly Bryan violated an unknown Benoit Clause that prohibits choking of any kind. Considering the number of times we’ve seen choking in other matches since the Bryan incident, not to mention the outside source/culprit who “demanded” a firing has yet to be named, the Big Fat Skeptic that I am has a feeling Bryan’s release was just one big work to build up his return later in the summer. WWE Creative set a new world record for fucking up a hot angle when they derailed the Nexus a mere two weeks later by revealing the evil Mr. McMahon as the instigator and brains behind the faction. Sheamus won his second WWE Championship defeating John Cena, Randy Orton and Edge in a ***3/4 Fatal 4-Way match on the PPV of the same name. Among the other highlights included Rey Mysterio shockingly winning his second Big Gold Belt in a ****1/4 Fatal 4-Way match against Jack Swagger, The Big Show & CM Punk, and a ****1/2 match between Evan Bourne & Chris Jericho. In a moment I wish I could forget, Alicia Fox became the Worst Women’s Champion of All Time when she won the Divas title in a *1/4 Fatal 4-Way match between herself, Eve Torres, Maryse & Gail Kim. TNA had yet another topsy-turvy PPV with Slammiversary. While Kurt Angle/Kazarian (****1/2), Douglas Williams/Brian Kendrick (****) and Madison Rayne/Roxxi (***1/4) started the show out very hot, things quickly fizzled out with a long string of stinky matches, in particular a Desmond Wolfe/Abyss Monster’s Ball match that set such new standards for awful that it almost cries out to be seen anyway.
July: TNA made their first stab at the New York house show market by putting on the most pathetic, low rent and godawful house show this New York wrestling fan has ever had the displeasure of attending live. Barely an hour of wrestling in a 155 minute show, no match went over 10 minutes, yet Jeff Jarrett was allowed to drone on for 20 minutes plus the planned 10 minute intermission went well over 35. When Angelina Love and Madison Rayne are the only two wrestlers to put forth an actual in-ring effort, you know it’s a bad show. TNA managed to draw 6,600 fans into 8,000 seat MCU Park in Brooklyn, but I have a feeling only 6 of those 6,600 would bother showing up to a return show in 2011. TNA also staged yet another topsy-turvy PPV in Victory Road. The first half of the card sucked, but the second half did have a ****1/2 gem between Kurt Angle & “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley finally won the TNA Tag Team titles over Beer Money in a **** match and Ric Flair wrestled better than he has in years, putting over Jay Lethal in a ***3/4 effort. July 19th was WWE’s MITB PPV, which turned out to be their poorest drawing PPV of 2010, allegedly garnering a mere 89,000 buys(I’ve heard reports since that it earned between 110,000 and 190,000 buys, which is STILL pretty bad!). Highlights included Kane winning the Smackdown MITB match and cashing in his title shot that evening, winning the Big Gold Belt from Rey Mysterio. The Miz won the Raw MITB match, earning himself a future title shot. Sheamus retained the WWE Championship against John Cena when the Nexus interfered yet again. I have a feeling that Pro Wrestling Respect 4 was the better show that day. Lucha Libre USA debuted on MTV, but on the death slot of 10 PM Friday nights.
August: Ring Of Honor fired Adam Pearce after two years of booking the company into the ground. Pearce went viral with his complaints about the business end being at fault for the company’s struggles. Of course, he had nothing but praise for his booking feats. TNA made the foolish decision to cast aside their previously planned Hard Justice PPV in favor of a poor excuse of an ECW reunion show. HardCORE Justice was absolutely horrible, with only a ***1/4 CW Anderson/Too Cold Scorpio match and a **** RVD/Sabu main event to recommend. Meanwhile, the previously planned PPV card was staged as a free TV special titled “The Whole F’N Show”, which turned out to be pretty F’N good. Highlights included a **** AJ Styles/Kurt Angle match, a ***** Motor City Machine Guns/Beer Money Inc. bout and a ****1/4 RVD/Abyss match. However, TNA decided to rip off the Nexus angle by creating a new faction titled Fortune, featuring Styles, Beer Money, Douglas Williams, Kazarian and Matt Morgan, led by Ric Flair. RVD worked an injury angle, vacating the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. WWE SummerSlam featured Team Raw against the Nexus in a ***3/4 elimination match, with Daniel Bryan making his return to WWE in a strong showing. John Cena ended up being the sole survivor, though. The rest of the card was a good but not great show, featuring a **** Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston match that was ruined by pointless interference from the Nexus and a ***1/2 WWE Championship match between Randy Orton and Sheamus that was marred by a lameass DQ finish. Lucha Libre USA was put on indefinite hiatus by MTV, which is just a fancy way of saying canceled.
September: Labor Day weekend saw TNA stage an exceptional No Surrender PPV, featuring the semi-finals of the TNA World Heavyweight Championship tournament. Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy stole the show in a ***** classic while Mr. Anderson and “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero couldn’t follow it, having a ***1/4 match. Manami Toyota, perhaps the greatest woman wrestler of all time, made her US debut on a 9/19 Chikara house show in Brooklyn, NY. She teamed with Mike Quackenbush against Sara Del Rey and Claudio Castagnoli in a ****1/2 thriller. That same day was WWE’s Night of Champions PPV. After seeing Toyota, Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze in action, to come home and see Michelle McCool wrestle is like attending a film festival in which Casablanca was followed by Manos: The Hands of Fate. McAwful’s horrid match aside, NOC was a good show, featuring a strong **** Undertaker/Kane World title match and Daniel Bryan winning the US Championship from The Miz in a ****1/4 gem. Randy Orton won his sixth WWE Championship defeating Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, Chris Jericho and Edge in a disappointing *** Six Pack Challenge match. The following night was Chris Jericho’s second swan-song from WWE, leaving to rest and concentrate on a non-existent music career. Homicide was released by TNA for cost-cutting reasons, but he quickly returned to ROH soon after.
October: The month in which wrestling made kids galore cry and parents shake their fists. First, on October 3rd at Hell in a Cell, John Cena was forced to join the Nexus after Wade Barrett defeated him in a **** singles match. Then on October 10th at TNA’s Bound for Glory, Jeff Hardy turned heel, using the help of “They” to win the vacant TNA World Heavyweight Championship in a ***1/2 match against Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson. After months of hype, “They” turned out to be Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and Jeff Jarrett. Talk about anti-climactic. HIAC was an underrated show, with a ****1/2 Daniel Bryan/Miz/John Morrison Submissions Count Anywhere match, ****1/4 Randy Orton/Sheamus Cell match and a **** Undertaker/Kane Cell bout amongst the highlights. The PPV seriously underperformed in the buyrate, only drawing about 110,000 buys, leading WWE Creative to believe the HITC cage match is overplayed. How about the fact you staged this PPV a mere two weeks after Night of Champions and with horrible build-up to boot? Bound for Glory had little to recommend beyond a ****1/2 MCMG/Generation Me opener. WWE also staged Bragging Rights, which was good but definitely not great. Highlights included a ****1/4 Champ Vs. Champ match between US Champ Daniel Bryan & IC Champ Dolph Ziggler and a ***3/4 Randy Orton/Wade Barrett WWE Championship match. The rumor mills began grinding when word came that Brock Lesnar was approached by WWE to wrestle The Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXVII. Naturally, UFC President Dana White declared that Lesnar would definitely not be allowed to wrestle while under a UFC contract. Smackdown moved to the SyFy Network and proceeded to stumble in the ratings. WWE Creative is at a loss to explain why. Could it be the move to cable on a night that traditionally doesn’t do well ratings-wise? Speaking of bad ratings and SyFy, NXT lost the Tuesday night time slot in North America. The first five weeks featuring Diva wannabes made for some incredibly painful television. The show was moved to WWE.com but I refrained from following the show there. Even I have my limits.
November: Yet another rollercoaster PPV from TNA in Turning Point. After a strong start with Jay Lethal/Robbie E (***3/4), Tara/Mickie James (****) and Team 3-D/MCMG (****), the show went to hell with several mediocre and poor matches before rebounding with a strong Jeff Hardy/Matt Morgan main event (****). Survivor Series was an awesome show, however. Daniel Bryan and Kaval had red-hot matches against Ted DiBiase and Dolph Ziggler respectively, both matches earning ****1/2. Wade Barrett cemented himself as a solid main eventer with a ****1/4 match against Randy Orton. Orton won the match, which meant that as per the stipulation, John Cena was “fired”. Cena kept making appearances, becoming a thorn in the Nexus’ side. The following night, The Miz cashed in his MITB title shot, defeating Randy Orton in a competitive ***1/4 match to win the WWE Championship. The King Of The Ring tournament returned on a special three hour Raw, with Sheamus defeating John Morrison in a ****1/2 finals match to become King. Jerry Lawler had a surprisingly good ***3/4 TLC match against The Miz that ended with Michael Cole interfering to cost Lawler the title. Normally, I hate crap like this, but in this context, it worked.
December: Another Hell Freezes Over moment: the signing of Awesome Kong by WWE right before the year came to a close. Another piece of major news was the sign that WWE no longer considers TNA serious competition, judging from the fact that they will now grant releases to any talent that asks for one. MVP and Kaval were two such people. TNA continued their enabling of drug addicts by allowing Jeff Hardy to retain the TNA World title despite showing up high as a kite and drunk off his ass mere hours before he was to headline their Final Resolution PPV. TNA shifted towards damage control/denial mode after word spread faster than Dixie Carter does backstage. Hardy still managed to have a solid ***1/2 match, being carried completely by Matt Morgan. The show itself was fairly hot, with a phenomenal ***** Full Metal Mayhem match between MCMG & Generation Me and the best casket match in years between Abyss & “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero. Sadly, it included one of the sorriest in-ring disasters of recent years, with a joke of a MMA/Submission match between Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett. Joe’s TNA career is mud after three straight PPV losses to old farts. Two weeks later, WWE staged their second annual TLC PPV. Despite a ***** Sheamus/John Morrison Ladder match and a ****1/2 John Cena/Wade Barrett Chairs match, the rest of the card ranged from good to awful, headlined by the worst TLC match in recent history. If you want to know how Edge, Kane, Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio could have a TLC match that garnered a DUD rating, well, I seem to be the lone detractor, so I guess to each his own. Cena suffered a major injury while wrestling Barrett in a steel cage match at a WWE house show in Pennsylvania. At first it was feared that Cena either blew out his knee or broke his hip, but to the relief of many, he only suffered a deep hip pointer bruise and won’t need surgery.12/30/10
It was the Best of Times, it was the Worst of Times: A Look Back at the Standout Matches of 2010
The Best Matches of 2010 :
1. Shawn Michaels Vs. The
Undertaker - WWE WrestleMania XXVI(3/28/2010) :
Would The Undertaker increase his WrestleMania winning streak to 18-0? Would Shawn Michaels end the Streak or his career? Would both men over 45 years of age and literally falling apart be able to top their classic WrestleMania 25 match? All those questions were answered over the course of a 25 minute classic. This match was even better than last year's, which I had given *****. The nice thing about this rematch was it was a completely different kind of match. Last year's was more languid and leisurely paced, building up to a complete frenzy. This year, it started fast and got even crazier as it progressed. The results were brilliant.
2. Steel Cage: Kurt Angle
Vs. Mr. Anderson - TNA Lockdown 2010(4/18/2010) :
Tuning in, I expected a good match. Certainly not such an exceptional bout! Angle/Anderson came very close to equaling Michaels/Undertaker 2010 in both workrate and drama. Anderson has shown potential before, but he seemed to be lost in the ring, struggling with fulfilling his promise. This cage match was the second time in 2010 that Anderson fulfilled that potential. This was the finest in-ring performance from the Man Formerly Known as Mr. Kennedy to date. What a thrilling match it was! Angle did some truly daring stuff. He gave Anderson SIX consecutive German suplexes. He did a killer moonsault off the top rope. He gave Anderson the Angle Lock submission as he was half dangling out the cage door. It was as if he wanted to go out with a bang before his hiatus, taking several months off to recuperate nagging injuries.
3. Kurt Angle
Vs. Jeff Hardy - TNA No Surrender 2010(9/5/2010) :
Angle’s hiatus lasted all of two months. Upon his return in June, Angle began a long stretch of phenomenal matches; Slammiversary featured a ****1/2 bout against Kazarian. In July, Angle impressed with a ****1/2 match with D’Angelo Dinero. August featured two ****+ matches against long-time nemesis AJ Styles, all of which leads us to September. This match was a semi-final bout in a tournament for the vacant TNA World Heavyweight Championship. What a thrilling, near-perfect match this was. Angle was in top form. Jeff Hardy was completely focused and razor-sharp in the ring for a change. This was thirty minutes of some of the finest, stiffest and most exciting wrestling action on domestic PPV this year. My only quibble was with the finish, which ended with an inconclusive draw.
4.
Full Metal Mayhem: TNA Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns
(Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) Vs. Generation Me (Max & Jeremy
Buck) - TNA Final Resolution 2010(12/5/2010) :
WWE had been promoting an Edge/Kane TLC match for their December PPV, so TNA decided to upstage WWE by staging their own version of a TLC match, dubbed Full Metal Mayhem. Sabin & Shelley and the Bucks had such a phenomenal match that WWE decided to change their TLC match by adding Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio. Despite those additions, WWE’s TLC match STILL sucked, while TNA’s version remained a brilliant, exciting masterpiece of high spots, ring psychology and classic insanity. Easily one of the five best TLC matches I have ever seen. There were moments in which I literally shouted out 'WOW!' aloud in my living room.
5.
Ladder Match: Sheamus Vs. John Morrison - WWE TLC 2010(12/19/2010) :
One of late 2010’s very best feuds was also one of the most overlooked. This is the first of two matches featuring both of these men on this 10 Best list. I was expecting a strong match, but I certainly wasn’t expecting a ***** classic. This was what great ladder matches are all about: insane high spots, off-the-charts psychology, solid pacing, brutal action and a memorable finish. Sheamus and Morrison remembered to deliver all of those spots and then some.
6. Randy Orton
Vs. Edge Vs. Chris Jericho - WWE Monday Night Raw(7/13/2010) :
Edge has had an extremely uneven 2010 since returning from a torn Achilles tendon injury suffered in July 2009. Sometimes he can have a fine match while at other times, he’s godawful. On July 13, 2010, Edge was in top form. Edge, Orton and Jericho opened the show with a superb triple threat match. WWE Creative actually gave all three enough time (almost 25 minutes) to pull off a great match, which isn’t often the case when it comes to free TV.
7.
Two-out-of-three Falls: The Motor City Machine Guns Vs. Beer Money,
Inc. - TNA The Whole F’N Show(8/12/2010) :
The highlight of a free TV special that was initially intended to be the August PPV, cast aside in favor of the disastrous ECW reunion PPV 'HardCORE Justice'(of which, the less said about, the better). TNA Creative had finally given Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley their chance on top of the tag team division. Pairing them against Robert Roode and James Storm was a rare stroke of genius. The two teams regularly stole the show in 2010, but this two out of three falls match was easily their finest 20 minutes.
8.
ShowMiz (The Big Show & The Miz) Vs. The Hart Dynasty - WWE Monday
Night Raw(4/26/2010) :
2010 was the year The Miz completed his evolution from awful rookie to top worker. Miz had several outstanding matches this year, all **** or better. This Unified Tag Team Championship match against The Hart Dynasty earned the full ***** I gave it back in April. I received a lot of flak over my five-star rating, but watching it again when composing this list, I stand by that rating. The match was just a great give-and-take style tag team bout. Big Show didn’t do a lot, but he was well used when he did appear briefly. Miz worked incredibly well with the Harts.
9. Falls Count Anywhere:
Sheamus Vs. John Morrison- WWE Monday Night Raw(9/13/2010) :
This match was thrown together at the last minute, but was so phenomenal that WWE Creative must have decided then and there to start a Morrison/Sheamus feud later in the year. With the exception of the ending, almost everything about this match worked- lots of great, stiff and brutal action; loads of neat high spots (Morrison climbing the TitanTron for a mega flying crossbody was an incredible moment). The lame finish of soon-to-depart Chris Jericho costing Morrison the match made no sense.
10. (tie) The Undertaker Vs. Rey Mysterio - WWE Royal Rumble 2010(1/31/2010) :
I truly didn’t know what to expect from this match when it was first announced. The Undertaker is a great worker, but he is getting up there in age (he’s anywhere from 45 to 48, depending on whom you ask) and his body is falling apart. Rey Mysterio is also a great worker, but he too is falling apart from injuries. I also figured that there would be a big time styles clash and the size difference between both men would be a major hindrance. My worries were for nothing as the two had an awesome match that kept me on the edge of my seat. The only hindrance was that it was only 12 minutes long- I could have easily gone for another ten.
Manami Toyota & Mike
Quackenbush Vs. Sara Del Rey & Claudio
Castagnoli - Chikara(9/19/2010) :
The Psycho Bitch From Hell made her US debut on a Sunday afternoon in Brooklyn, NY. At 39 years of age and only working here-and-there in Japan, Toyota proceeded to put to shame the pathetic state of women’s wrestling in WWE and TNA. This match was absolutely terrific. While it is true that Toyota made a few flubs during the match, she was still in great shape. Sara Del Rey was no slouch, showing that there ARE great women wrestlers in America- you just have to look beyond WWE and TNA to find them.
Other Matches I Thought
Highly Of: Daniel Bryan Vs. Miz Vs. John Morrison in a Submissions
Count Anywhere match - WWE Hell in a Cell(10/3/2010), Daniel Bryan Vs.
Ted DiBiase, Jr - WWE Survivor Series 2010(11/21/2010), Dolph Ziggler Vs. Kaval -
WWE Survivor Series 2010(11/21/2010), Kurt Angle Vs. “Pope” D’Angelo
Dinero - TNA Victory Road 2010(7/12/2010), Kurt Angle Vs. Kazarian - TNA Slammiversary
2010(6/13/2010), Douglas Williams Vs. Brian Kendrick - TNA Slammiversary 2010(6/13/2010),
The Undertaker Vs. Jack Swagger - WWE Monday Night Raw(4/19/2010), AJ Styles
Vs. “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero - TNA Lockdown 2010(4/18/2010), 'I Quit' : AJ
Styles Vs. Tommy Dreamer - TNA No Surrender 2010(9/5/2010), Rhino Vs. Abyss -
TNA No Surrender 2010(9/5/2010), Randy Orton Vs. Wade Barrett - WWE Survivor
Series 2010(11/21/2010), R-Truth Vs. The Miz - WWE Monday Night Raw(5/22/2010),
The Miz Vs. Daniel Bryan- WWE Night Of Champions 2010(9/19/2010), the John Cena/Dave Batista trilogy - WWE Wrestlemania XXVI, WWE Extreme Rules 2010 AND
WWE Over The Limit 2010.
And now the flipside...the Worst Matches of 2010. One last shot against those matches that stole precious minutes, not to mention brain cells, out of our lives.
The Worst Matches of 2010
1. Street Fight:
Bret Hart Vs. Vince McMahon - WWE Wrestlemania XXVI(3/28/2010) :
Bret looked more like "Old Man" in this miserable excuse of a match. I knew going in that it was foolish to expect an all time classic here. Bret hasn't wrestled in 11 years and has suffered two strokes since his forced retirement. Vince is not a full time wrestler either, but I was hoping the Street Fight format would include enough intangibles to make for a watchable and entertaining match. Boy, was I wrong! What a clusterfuck this was. When you look up the word 'disaster' in the dictionary, right next the words 'earthquake, tsunami, typhoon and hurricane', you'll find a still from this “match”. McMahon attempted to screw Bret again by announcing that he had bought off those dysfunctional derelicts known as the Hart Family to serve as pro-McMahon lumberjacks. He also bought Bret's brother Bruce to serve as referee. That was bad enough, but WWE Creative decided to reveal it was all a swerve BEFORE the match even started! Why not build some suspense and reveal the swerve prior to the finish? I guess that was too much to ask for from Creative.
2.
MMA Submission Match: Samoa Joe Vs. Jeff Jarrett - TNA Final Resolution 2010(12/5/2010) :
This was absolute torture that made the mistake of asking us to take Jeff Jarrett seriously as a so-called 'MMA expert.' After a third major PPV loss, Samoa Joe is finished off as far as being anything meaningful in TNA. Jarrett’s offense was so appallingly awful that he should be locked into the Octagon and bitchslapped by some actual MMA fighters. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, in this match looked good or plausible. Not to mention to bullshit crap finish to ensure a Jarrett victory.
3.
Divas Champion Natalya Vs. Alicia Fox - WWE Monday Night Raw(11/22/2010) :
Fox makes the first of THREE appearances on this list, although I could have composed an entire 'Worst 10' list with just her matches alone. Natalya had captured the title the evening before and this was her first title defense. Natalya tried, but Fox was so bad that She-Anvil just couldn’t carry it no matter how hard she tried. The funniest spot in this match was when Natalya had to actually place Fox into a major spot since Fox was incapable of getting properly into position. Not exactly the best way to showcase your newly crowned Divas Champ, was it, WWE?
4. Divas Champion Alicia Fox
Vs. Brie Bella - WWE Monday Night Raw(7/19/2010) :
WWE officials were said to be high on Alicia Fox as Divas Champion. You’d most certainly have to be high to believe so. Her offense is beyond pathetic, her defense is non-existent and her ax kick finisher is rightly dubbed the Worst Looking Ax Kick of All Time. Put her in the ring with a lousy Diva like Brie Bella and give them FIVE FUCKING MINUTES of TV time, you have a recipe for sheer disaster.
5. Monster’s Ball Match:
Abyss Vs. Desmond Wolfe - TNA Slammiversary 2010(6//2010) :
The Monster’s Ball match used to be a fresh and exciting concept, but TNA made it deader than Michael Jackson in 2010. Among the many poor Monster’s Ball matches in 2010, this one may have been the absolute worst. Abyss and Wolfe didn’t work well together at all, likely due to a severe clash in styles. This match was loaded with terrible action, blown spots and other assorted screw-ups. Not to mention it unfolded at a snail’s pace. Wolfe may be the most underrated wrestler of 2010. It’s downright criminal how badly TNA has misused him. Abyss was once a great, lightning fast monster heel, but he has put on quite a bit of weight, slowing him down. Besides, his act has become very stale and boring.
6.
LayCool Vs. Mae Young - WWE "Old School" Monday Night Raw(11/15/2010) :
This was embarrassing to watch unfold. LameFool roasted Young with incredibly cruel and unfunny jokes. It was all the more appalling since Young clearly didn’t understand a word they were saying, hiding behind a vacuous smile. Young could barely walk, needing the Bella Twins to hold her up all through the impromptu 'match.' Basically every babyface Diva beat the shit out of LameFool, with Young merely placing her foot atop of Michelle McAwful for the pin. A complete waste of time for all concerned.
7. The Hart Dynasty Vs.
The Great Khali & Hornswoggle - WWE Monday Night Raw(6/7/2010) :
This match is solid proof that the 'Viewer’s Choice' concept is complete bullshit. I find it hard to believe that 59% of wrestling fans would choose a Walking Tree and a fucking midget over the Uso Brothers, or Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft, both teams that are very good and very underutilized talents. The match lasted a mere 1:18, but it was so incredibly awful that it deserved a special spot on this list.
8. Alicia Fox, Maryse & Tamina Snuka Vs. Eve Torres & The Bella Twins - WWE
Monday Night Raw(11/8/2010) :
This was the match that produced the biggest in-ring "WTF?" moment of 2010. Alicia Fox somehow screwed up a simple backbreaker so badly that it caused Brie Bella to flip up in the air and accidentally land on top of Alicia. The referee had no choice but to make an impromptu pinfall count.
9.
Kozlov Vs. Magruber (Will Forte) - WWE Monday Night Raw(4/19/2010) :
The sad truth is that comedian Forte may be a better worker than Kozlov. Kozlov has since found his niche as a comedy babyface, but in April, he was still being pushed as a monster heel reliant on the typical limited big man bullshit. After several minutes of lame comedy and horrible one-sided “wrestling”, the Great Khali came out clad in flannel and a fake mullet, claiming to be Magruber’s brother Khaluber. Bottom of the barrel, ma!
10.
Tables Match: John Cena Vs. Randy Orton - WWE Monday Night Raw(9/13/2010) :
I never imagined that these two would make my 'Worst Of' list in 2010. Both men must have had an off night, because this match was extremely sloppy and poorly timed. Loads of blown spots weren’t helped by unbelievably slow pacing. Then there was the finish, in which Orton wins by giving Cena the RKO despite going through the table FIRST. The republic will stand if this is the last Orton/Cena match for a long, long, long time.
Other Matches I’d Rather Forget About: 5/6th of TNA’s 7/2/2010 house show in MCU Park in Brooklyn, NY, Team 3-D Vs. Axl Rotten/Kajoneys - TNA HardCORE Justice(8/8/2010), PJ Polaco Vs. Stevie Richards - TNA HardCORE Justice(8/8/2010), TLC Fatal 4-Way: World Heavyweight Champion Kane Vs. Edge Vs. Alberto Del Rio Vs. Rey Mysterio - WWE TLC 2010(12/19/2010), Velvet Sky Vs. Angelina Love Vs. Madison Rayne Vs. Tara - TNA Bound for Glory 2010(10/12/2010), Alicia Fox Vs. Gail Kim - WWE Monday Night Raw(7/13/2010), Good Housekeeping Match : Beth Phoenix Vs. Michelle McCool - WWE Extreme Rules 2010(4/25/2010), Edge Vs. Wade Barrett - WWE Monday Night Raw(7/20/2010), Alberto Del Rio Vs. Sgt. Slaughter - WWE "Old School" Monday Night Raw(11/15/2010), Alicia Fox Vs. Melina - SummerSlam 2010(8/15/2010), Samoa Joe Vs. Jeff Jarrett - TNA Turning Point 2010(11/7/2010 ).12/27/10
The Twelve Botches of Alicia Fox
On the first day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
One incredibly fucked up backbreaker.
On the second day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Two ax kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker.
On the third day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker.
On the fourth day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax kicks And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker.
On the fifth day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Five ripped off hair extensions! Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker!
On the sixth day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Six very stiff elbows, Five ripped off hair extensions, Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker!
On the seventh day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Seven off-the-mat pickups, Six very stiff elbows, Five ripped off hair extensions, Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker!
On the eighth day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Eight horrid boots to the face, Seven off-the-mat pickups, Six very stiff elbows, Five ripped off hair extensions, Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker!
On the ninth day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Nine forgettable promos, Eight horrid boots to the face, Seven off-the-mat pickups, Six very stiff elbows, Five ripped off hair extensions, Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax kicks, And one incredibly fucked up
backbreaker!
On the tenth day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Ten stumbling dropkicks, Nine forgettable promos, Eight horrid boots to the face, Seven off-the-mat pickups, Six very stiff elbows, Five ripped off hair extensions, Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax-kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker!
On the eleventh day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Eleven screwed up foot stomps, Ten stumbling dropkicks, Nine forgettable promos, Eight horrid boots to the face, Seven off-the-mat pickups, Six very stiff elbows, Five ripped off hair extensions, Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax-kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker!
And on the last day of the tour, Alicia Fox botched up:
Twelve lameass punches, Eleven screwed up foot stomps, Ten stumbling dropkicks, Nine forgettable promos, Eight horrid boots to the face, Seven off-the-mat pickups, Six very stiff elbows, Five ripped off hair extensions, Four messed up flips, Three sloppy suplexes, Two ax-kicks, And one incredibly fucked up backbreaker!
